""The main end of life is not to do but to become," F. B. Meyer said. And for this we are being prepared every day. As silver is refined by fire, the heart is often refined in the furnace of sadness.

The refining process may be very painful, but it will not destroy us, for the Refiner sits by the furnace tending the flame. "

David Roper

"What is the real good?"
I asked in musing mood.

Order said the law court
Knowledge said the school
Truth said the wise man
Pleasure said the fool
Love said the maiden
Beauty said the page
Freedom said the dreamer
Home said the sage
Fame said the soldier
Equity said the seer.
Spake my heart fully sad:
The answer is not here.

Then within my bosom
Softly this I heard:
"Each heart holds the secret:
Kindness is the word."

-JOHN BOYLE O'REILLY

"Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat."
- HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. No husbandman would sow one grain of corn if he hoped not it would grow up and become seed; no bachelor would marry a wife if he hoped not to have children; no merchant or tradesman would set himself to work if he did not hope to reap benefit thereby.
-MARTIN LUTHER

a treasury of the wisdom of the ages. i found Dale Carnegie's Scrapbook in my dad's mini library. combing through the book's like ali baba entering the treasure cave. hardly anything feels better than being enlightened by the wiseness of words. the one by martin luther's my favourite tonight. noticeably, the quotes that came from chinese scholars are remarkably simple yet impressive, and to my delight, often inspired by the works of nature. speaking of which, i'm determined to get my grasp of the chinese language back. i was quite shocked at my inadequacy while i was in kedah. and while i was watching those chinese serials set in the ancient past, i was pretty astounded by the power of the language! almost all their sentences contained just 4 words.

eee i missed my class dinner. how annoying..my dad didnt allow me to go. on the brighter side, i can go out tmr to church and my SA class gathering since i was a good girl and stayed at home tonight. SHEESH.

im still lying my way thru. what am i supposed to do?

i'm like an old woman now. my hip hurts so badly i cannot move them at all! that's how unfit i am after 1 mth not training! and i can count the no. of times i caught the ball today with one hand. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! and i fell among the thorns of the mimosa plants. they all ar, look so pretty in their pink flowers and they play with you with their leaves but they're so vicious when u fall on them. my scratch marks looked like i was caned all over by my mom or something!

jia recommended this site - http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/ to me coz i wasn't sure what to do during my QT. it really helped me a lot, n i think it's great guidance - and a perfect way to begin a day:)

last night God answered one of my prayers. it was disappointing and a little saddening but i was very glad to know that He did listen to me afterall. i'd asked for guidance and help and i'd asked him to give me what i need, and not simply what i want - they're different. so He's given me his answer and i'll rest in that=)

oh yea and the trip was wonderfully wonderful! it didnt start out all that great though. hahaha the purpose of the trip was to spend more time with my grandparents and relatives there and coincidentally my aunt's family was there staying for the whole month! yeap so the house was pretty lively:) my family spent two days with my mom's business associate. he was VERY hospitable hahah pleasantly shocking coz no one back home here's that nice. yeap he brought us around and actually drove us all the way to the thai border:) yeapp. BUT i was pretty bored coz they mostly spoke bout business.

most memorable was playing with my cousins on the last night actually. hahah they're way younger than me but it was damn fun! we played till 3am in the morning silly games that were super funny coz everybody kept making stupid mistakes. oh yea! and wanyi's family popped by for a day too since they were in penang. we went to kedah peak. it was even better than the last time i went up there. it's my favourite place in Kedah:) 10km high u can see the endless stretch of padi field in alostar through the clouds, the sea and a few cute little islands. we were lucky the sky that day was superb. OH yes and i saw the BIGGEST LONGEST rainbow in my entire life one evening! it was SO clear and SO huge and yes SO beautiful. in fact there were TWO! haha the other one wasnt so clear, like it's double image.

and before we left i hugged my grandpa=D that was the best part of my trip haha it's the first time i ever hugged him. he was very happy i could tell:) i love my grandparents a lot, a lot, though i hardly see them, and im still a little afraid of my grandpa hahah i have no idea why but it's been like that since i was a little girl. but i'm growing out of it! i hope haha:)

i know how to go up there on my own le. it's simple. hahah so i guess next time i can go back for a visit alone if my parents arent free to accompany me. hee my grandpa said i could if i wanted to he'll go pick me up:) great place to be. sungei petani's a small town, everything's slow paced, cars there are 20 years old. though the air isn't supposed to be fresh, i still love the smell of it, especially the afternoon and night breeze. how gently hokkien's spoken there. breakfast from the market and of coz my grandma's food. hehe. a great getaway if i'm ever stressed here=D

just when my home turns into some cosy paradise i have to leave......!!! with a new comp i can watch endless vcds so it's no sore that i dont have a tvee! and we just finished packing n tidying the entire house up so it's spacious and clean and comfortable! hahah but gotta say byebye to it for a week! leaving for kedah tonight:) yeps not excited at all hahhaha coz nothing to be excited about. probably gonna juz stay at my grandparents' home and do my school work ugh. hahahah the only excitement's kedah peak:) endless stretch of padi fields u see frm high up there. the last time there were a few farmers burning their fields. and it's an escape from the soaring heat down there. hehe

great thing miche, letting me listen to your mp3 player. hahha it's gotten me hooked to maksim!! he's great!!!! ALL his songs i've listened to so far are fabulous. hahhah but the best is still the Croatian Rhapsody that first caught my attention:D yeps i'm gonna hunt down his cds in m'sia!
alrites stay safe everyone and pray for my family's safe trip down n back hahaha God bless!~

i'm so terribly bushed now but very satisfied:) did some fundraising for the old folks living in red hill, and it was really an experience. and people were mostly very kind, especially the ones who gave us encouragements=D most of them returned my smile even though they didnt donate any money. hahah that itself was encouraging enough:) yep man totally enjoyable despite it being so super tiring. it was just TWO hours but i was already so tired i thought my legs were going to crack. yep and i discovered it's true that if u're sincere about it, people will listen to u, and it's not true that people have no time to listen to your story:) so yep that's some blessing. and i MUST mention this guy who gave sherm 100 DOLLARS!!!! omg hahhahah that was amazing. i would have been stupified. woots so im looking forward to another day of fundraising:) and yes, thank God for opening the hearts of all those generous and charitable people out there who made my day=D everyone have a good rest gdnite!!~

hey there!! heheh wheee this feels damn good! i'm typin on a brand new keyboard facing a superb monitor and everything's so smooth nothing hangs. woot! =D

just got back frm YF camp! it was a pleasant one:) got to know many many new people and everybody there was great! though i hardly knew anyone and everything seemed unfamiliar it was really enjoyable! the beach games were the BEST part!! hahah played till our muscles ached like mad! and the food was omg so much and so good pity i didnt have a good appetite. bigger pity it will be the last YF camp for this current batch coz we're gonna be young adults!! oh and i must not forget! we did a few personality tests and lo and behold i was super shocked when i read the printout coz i couldn't believe how accurate it was. word for word man! yep that was kinda like the highlight of the camp hahah coz it was really interesting! and most importantly i got to really spend time with Him, especially since the four days were specially set aside for Him, and i'm thankful for that. i hope my faith will grow stronger each day:)
ooo yea and not to forget! there was the beach touch comp too!! i really enjoyed myself and i think it's more fun playing on sand coz i can run barefooted! and absolutely no qualms bout diving hehe:)

yeah mans i feel so refreshed back home now and i'm just looking forward to the trip down to kedah on thurs to go see gonggong n popo:D and that means im like ditching my afua and yf commitments. ARGH. hahah the personality test said i feel guilty too easily and i dont pay enough attention to my own needs. i pay too much to others'. so am i not supposed to feel bad bout ditching the afua n yf commitments? eh. nvm shant think so much hahah too bad for me la if they're mad at me. hees~ k God bless everyone~

my comp crashedddd and it's bringing so much inconvenience! but good coz i dont spend any unnecessary time on the comp anymore:)

uhwell i'm even busier now im goin to faint. all those cip stuffs are taking up so much of my time grrrrrrr... i hardly have time for myself:( and there will be church activities and the camp also oh mannn..heh not that i'm complaining bout that one. yesterday i spent half my day tying ribbons and carrying heavy HEAVY HEAVY boxes of huge pretty candles at YC! hahah it was MUCH more enjoyable than i expected:) i think it's partly coz we were surrounding by seas of pretty pink colours and they make you happy haha and tying ribbons are DAMN fun!! especially when u're getting pro at it mwahahah:P i'll be selling the candles in town next month! to help the lonely old folks in redhill..well i dunno how im gonna do it! i think i ought to go down and see them and spend some time with them then i'll truly understand the cause of my fundraising. i mean when u ask people to donate u gotta be more sincere and what if they ask me bout the old folks and i dunno what to say that would be so embarrassing!

uh k another gd thing i've started on my maths holiday homework! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! though it's only very few questions and i'm a super cheater bug. i look at the answers then i do the questions. hahahh

heh k im supposed to be doin my cip now but i'm uh slacking here at the NYC =D uh kinda cant wait for this to be over! hahah =) oh and i hope my dad n i can make a trip to KL and to Penang to visit my grandparents n some relatives..i doubt i'll be going there for CNY next yr coz i'll be missing too much school n my dad isn't alright with it. but i think my grandparents are really growing old and uh...i dun wannt to regret anything yea. so i'll make up for it with a trip down this hols. haahh nvm FINALLY a CNY spent in singapore!

busy as a beeeeeeeeee

i'm so so so so beeeseeeee!!!!! but now i'm enjoying it!! =D
im terribly burnt from training, i'm back to how i was like in uhh..sec 2? hahhahah true blue africann! training's crazy sooo many times a week and my muscles are forever crying for oxygen! but it's good! i feel fresh and fit most of the time! competition's gonna be over soon, and i'm going to miss this entire pretty intensive training season quite a bit:( esp the company of all of us!

hmm and thenn i have my AFUA n YC commitments as usual..the busking festival is coming SOON! i still think i'm one of the MOST slack members mwahahah so i tried to do something by volunteering during the last mtg, and i still have not gotten that done! hee i hope it'll be a blast!! and they want the location managers to double up as emcees....omgosh imagine acting cute in front of a big orchard crowd!!!!! hahhahh i'll DIE of embarrassment.

AND THEN i kinda got myself a job at the turkish restaurant in far east;) hahahh everyone thinks it's a cool place to work! and i think so too!!! hahahha i can learn to play the turkish ice-cream tricks and learn their language frm the man there:D ehhh all those just IF i get the job! but since they said they're in need of part time workers, i think i stand a pretty good chance!! let's hope the boss calls me back soooooooooon......

AND of course there's always Him! the last service was awesome! it was my first time witnessing people getting baptised! congrats to chris=D the church's one looks like a swimming pool hahahha albeit a teeny one hehe! and the sermon was interesting for once! mwahahah.. i didnt have to open my eyes extra wide to look like i was listening! and worship was the best part, as always=) i love the songs!! and there's this particular one that always makes me cry. and i wanna say that He has been there for me, He's been listening to me, encouraging me, comforting me and answering my prayers, and i cant be more grateful for all of it. i'm happy to say that i've truly learnt to be satisfied with what i can have. because i really believe that if He thinks i need it, He'll bless me with it. but if i dont get what i would like to get, it simply means that He thinks i do not need it. perhaps someone else needs it more than i do, or it could actually even be a blessing in disguise!! =0)

OH n i just made oreo cheese cake!!!!!!!!! mwahahahahha! clara taught me how to do it!! the batter was SO yummy i could hardly resist digging my fingers into the bowl! hehe my whole family cant wait for morninggggg!!!!!! off to bed now,God bless,everyone!!~