i feel so much better today! after the rather dreadful couple of weeks:) hee coz today's teachers' day! no lessons!! and tmr's a HOLIDAY!! hahhah this time, i think i do welcome this break. need it badly actually. went back to ny and got to chat with some teachers! ms ong got the MOST CARING TEACHER AWARD!!!! and there's no other teacher in this world that deserves it more than she does! she's one of my greatest blessings! i'm thankful our paths did cross as teacher n student she's been such an inspiration. i miss her lessons terribly! i'd always looked forward to english or lit lessons most coz they were all so spirit-lifting and also really relaxing! she hardly teaches anything from the texts and i think the number of compres we went through in class the entire year can be counted with all my fingers and toes! but our class STILL did well for language! on top of that, all of us graduated with lessons far more valuable than compres and compos. she really made my life so much more beautiful:) owell perhaps she hadn't touched the lives of every student of hers, but for those that she had, there couldn't be a bigger thank-you!

okiedokie! today i feel really blessed and happy and loved!

Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as i have treated them today
-unknown

oh dear im feeling rather lost right now..too many things swirling in my puny brain. distractions distractions i hate them yet i welcome them. hmm wonder what's with this rather big change.. big coz it's even noticeable to my unobservant eye. since when did the textbooks ever got the smell the top rung of my ladder? i'd always been able to convince myself that it's not at all true that your academic achievement will steer your future. that's how i got away with all the pressure and stress from school. but the blessed me have been lucky and sailed thru all my crucial exams with good grades. yeah and all these blessings will run out coz no matter how hard you pray, miracles wont happen if you dont want it bad enough. and how much u want it is reflected by how hard u've worked for it. but sigh the honest truth's that studying makes me unhappy and i've always been trying to run away from it. i hate stress and i hate stress and i hate stress. but now i can't run away from it coz it's hit me right in the eye that yes that piece of paper DOES matter. it's not true that if you dont get a degree you'll be a failure in life but neither is it true that it doesnt play a significant role in a good future. why make yourself suffer so much because of your horrible attitude in your youth. it's not as though i wasn't given the chance at education, in fact i was given such a GOOD chance. but it slipped past coz i hated stress and i tried to run away from it! through the years i've sought comfort in the finer things of life, appreciating all of His gifts, receiving joy and taking pride in them. but then again, i've got to face reality. it's not true that it'll kill whatever i've grown to love about this world coz everything's up to myself! but it's not goin to be easy...now that i can't runaway anymore..dont be like Godfrey..seeking comfort in Chance which even myself thought him downright stupid while reading the lit text. i've just got to learn to face it and learn to love it the same way i've learnt to love everything else. afterall, this chance is a gift and dont i seek joy in all of His gifts?

hmm i dont really like this blogger thing. miss my easyjournal!! i guess i'll be moving BACK! sounds super retarded.

oh wells..been an extremely tiring week. EXTREMELY tiring.. and i'm EXTREMELY TIRED. a result of trying to clear all my owed homework while being bogged down by new ones. and it's been disappointment after disappointment. SO many disappointments this week :( all kinds too. guess i no longer see things as lightly as i used to and not care about things like my work or my results coz now, i honestly care and i DO worry. and it's an entirely different thing when i dont put in effort and dont do well and i DO put in effort and STILL dont do well. it just stinks. the to make it worse, i can just imagine my maths teacher's face when she's marks my paper this weekend. maybe she's marking it right now!! oh MAN that's the worst part. i'd promised her i'd work harder and I SWEAR I HONESTLY DID! i did all my tutorials and assignments NO COPYING AT ALL! but just WHY didnt it all work out properly during the test?!?!?!! my mind was a real blank. like everything was so familiar yet i had no idea what to do! and everything else too! all those lit assignments that i'd put so much effort in, and the geog test that i really studied for.. guess i must have gone wrong somewhere. everybody learns by making mistakes and i understand that and i'll work harder but it's still rather disheartening.. guess i'll just remember that there's a reason why we're given disappointments. so that when we achieve, the success is sweeter.

sometimes things that i go out of my way to do dont always go appreciated.. although the joy's in it's kindness and thoughtfulness, it'd just be nice to receive a sincere thank you or knowing that the person has paid it forward and extended that warmth to someone else. ah perhaps i expect too much.. but then again it's not like i expect to get something in return for what i do. sigh such a disappointing week it has turned out to be=( hopefully next week it'll get better! it's the last week of the term!! how time flies... soon we'll be leaving the campus i've grown to love so much and our seniors would graduate (no more globe!!sob). i guess the saddest part's leaving mount sinai. what's so bad about our campus!! i have NOTHING to complain about it!! i hope the new site wouldn't be too empty and sterile and souless. ohwell..gotta say farewell to the railway track..and that beautiful second field. i'll never get to see the fallen red petals all over the grass again. coz the next time the flowers are in bloom, i'll be over at bishan.

I love being alive and will be the best man I possibly can. I will take love wherever i find it and offer it to everybody who will take it. I will seek knowledge from those wiser and teacher those who wishto learn from me.

-Duane Allman

At You Feet

At Your side I find joy
At Your side I find my peace
At Your side I find a purpose
At Your side You meet my needs

I have run so far ahead
Fallen way too far behind
But I belong at Your side

At Your feet I find rest
At Your feet I find my peace
At Your feet I find forgiveness
At Your feet You meet my needs

I've wandered every crooked path
A better road I thought was sweet
But I belong at Your feet

In Your arms I find comfort
In Your arms I find my peace
In Your arms I find a tender
Holy love to meet my needs

I have sought a stranger's care
And a liar's fading charms
But i belong in Your arms
Oh I belong in Your arms...

OCS!

today's trip to the OCS (Officer Cadet School)was real good! i was dreading the trip for days and jia was so right! at the end of it i didnt want to leave!! and i'm SO inspired to join the army!!! i know i am a girl but so what girls can join too. hee but yea i doubt i will laaaa.. one month of those things are fine but i think two years is kindaf uh..long. hahah nevertheless, i think very highly of our soldiers now! great young men:) today's trip was so enjoyable pretty much because of very informative and entertaining cadets that brought us around and showed us bits of their army life! hahahha no wonder the OCS is the scholars' wing..all of them were SO good in their presentations of whatever they were in charge of! and today i held a gun for the first time in my life!!!!! hee a 10 over kg one summore! and i tried carrying the 16.5kg recoilless thing that was damn huge!! omg and the entire place is like a RESORT!! especially their 'happy-hour' place..very spacious and bar-like :) hahaha i was very much reminded of OBS! like a two-year OBS course hahahh

owellsss i'm tired i'm tired i'm so so tired!! and i have a maths test to face tmr....and preparation's zero at the moment.hee.

oh yesterday i went for a run at 8 plus round the school track:) it's a very different feeling running in the dark with the wind. and now my leg muscles are in a horrible condition. the worst i've ever gotten this year not counting the aftermath of the SAJC x-country. hmm and plus the 1hr15mins standing i did at the underpass near buona vista mrt station. i talked to the man there busking for that long. hee but he played me so many nice songs..and he's really an amazing man to talk to:) stressed spelt the other way - desserts!! hahahh so never feel stressed! he said we must live our lives humbled and ego = Edging God Out!

hmm ok i hope i have the strength to last through the night mugging maths. good luck!!

splendid day=)

I AM SOOOO TIRED BUT I AM VERYYYY HAPPY!!!! welllll many things made my day today=)
first, i did myself proud and i MUST give myself credit for finishing TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO ESSAYS in school today!!!!!! hahhahh i was really surprised i finished my Othello essay so fast! though i still overshot the time limit. my other PC essay was WORSE. i spent two hours plus on it when i'm supposed to finish it in an hr and a half!! but WHO CARES i've finished it!!!! and it's ONLY ONE DAY LATE!!!!!! hahaaha actually u can say i was on time just that the staff room was already locked so i couldn't place my assignment on mrs perry's table! AND i actually began to enjoy the prac crit essay half way through it! it's like once you've started writing and got the hang of it, you just begin to spot more and more points and each time you spot one you feel sooo good! like hey, i'm quite smart afterall! mwahaha =) i've learnt something today. no essay's ever too tough once u force yourself to get down to writing your first paragraph! it just flowsssss and flowsssss k i hope i'll do well for my PC essay coz it's really lots of effort in there!!
actually this was the main thing that made me so happy today:) especially after all my short concentration spans these few weeks and my piled up homework, clearing them and clearing quite a considerable amt in a few hours. for once, i have the discipline to sit through my work and FINISH them. though i still have lots of work owed, it's definately in a better state than yesterday!

hmm and i had a lovely time after my work with miche. joined her at the benches near the council room. she was doing her QT and i was just enjoying the night sky and her jars of clay cd :) we saw an aeroplane flying high up there through the clouds! hahahha seeing things like that make you smile. for no reason. both of us looked rather silly smiling at the sky but it was sweet~* took a stroll around the track. so lovely at night.. and u noe wad the green area near the train track really looks like the forbidden area in The Village!!!! omg i bet they got their inspiration from rj! hahahh had a CUTE dinner with her and she so kindly offered to lend me her discman for a day!! hahhah SO HAPPY!!! thus, i thoroughly enjoyed my journey home. thanks miche! -grin-

oh and not to forget, i did my special thing for the weekend!!i wrote a letter to a friend that i usually wouldn't think of writing to! hee i hope it was a pleasant surprise. it's always one for me:)
but i got so worried that some prankster would take the letter away from the locker coz i just slotted the letter half way betw the lockers. ohwell thankfully no one was so cheeky to do that:)

yup and on my way home there was an elderly couple sitting on a bench at my void deck with their grandaughter and the grandma was tying her hair! so sweet:) hee i hope i'll do that when i grow old too..tying my grandaughter's hair while talkin to my husband by my side!

ok i'm so supremely tired. i can't find my gp compre to do either!! ithink it's in school :( looks like i gotta rush it tmr. ok i WILL have the discipline i had today tmr as well and FINISH it. not to forget the upcoming maths test =S

entry number 1!

hello world!! a beeg beeg welcome here! hahahah it was orignally purple with a beautiful flower at the back, twas extremely beautiful! (ju it's your kind hahah u'll gush if you see it! next time u wanna change your backgrnd tell me i'll send it to u) but i couldn't handle the html nonsense so i'll just use the templates provided :) this is nice too anyway!

hee okie i've decided to migrate here FINALLY and stop being so stubborn. hahha easyjournal's gettin boring and here u have a nice background to look at while reading! and it looks so serene, like you're in heaven :)

ohwell nothing special happened today..did little work as usual, but an improvement from last week. i did only one chapter of my silas journal just now but it was something coz the chapter had 46million pages and i did a very thorough job:) i have one more to go and that one is EVEN longer. gd luck! ohh and i was so smart! i invited my mom to read on my bed so she'll bark at me if i fall aslp or drift away from my work.hee smart rite? if not i'll be worse off than i already am!

okiedokey off for a bath then continue on my work. can't finish as usual..oh well...till later~

hellooooo

helloooooo