oh gosh! i seriously cant step out of the amelie's world. i wish i hadnt watched the movie so i can watch it again and feel it's magic workin on me! i keep thinkin of her! but nevertheless i love her! i love to watch her move around, i love to see her live her life and i love the things she does! she's kinda like my dream. i love the way she's weird and the way she craves solitude. well, till she meets Nino! Nino's like a dream too! oh gosh everything's like a dream! u noe i noe im weird in my own way like amelie's weird in her own but i dont dare to show mine! and ya noe i actually do some of the wierd things amelie does but i wont say which. and i gotta suppress my own weirdness else i'm dead i'll have no friends!
and i wish i could meet my love the way she did :)

the generous prosper and are satisfied;
those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
proverbs 11:25

hahah my father is so funny he couldnt bear to kill the baby lizard in his bedroom so he put it into a plastic bag and threw it down the chute and hoped that it'd find its way out. eh not back to our house obviously!

this has been a pretty good and upbeat weekend! though i did absolutely zero homework. let's see... started with that marvellous story set in spectacular venice! and then yesterday's RSN Navy comp was good though we played like shit but somehow... i jus felt good hahh. ok chubbs dont kill me. i think it was what i could see while i was there. i felt i was more like at a golf course than a field! lookinup from the field and ahead from the gallery, everything's picturesque! the sky looked right out of my kindergarten textbk! and there were coniferous-lookin trees?!?! AND there were aeroplanes!!!!! cos we were so near changi:) ohh and we didnt get the tour the place in the end. i was really lookin forward to it.. nvm. anw my poor shoulders n arms are raging hot n angry shucks! haah damn painful!!!! n then i rushed down for cell jus in time to join them for dinnerr! =D and i had to stuff myself with two paos jus before that cos i was super hungry and couldnt last any longer.. hmm and i think it's really fun to marry a man whom u share many many mutual frens:)

okaee and today i didnt go for service cos it was SO FREAKIN EARLY!!!! and i had to wake up at 6 plus no way man. i woke up at 6.45 to a burning body and i decided to go back to slp. so instead i joined mich's youth group at lloyd's place in the afternoon! it was very enjoyable and i gained a lot from it. A LOT! he's an inspiration! who was in turn inspired by Him! i hope i'd have the chance to join them again:) ahhhh n it was such a pity i cldnt stay longer n drink more of da longan-almond-tofu dessert!!! it was sooooooooooo yummy!!!!! i think it's quite easy to prepare. jus get the ingredients, pour them together and tadaaah! k i shall go shop for them tomorrow on mah way hm frm sch:D oo yea and happy birthday st pauls!! hahaha=D alritee everybody enjoy the week ahead! mm do ONE thing meaningful so it wouldnt be wasted yea!

Though my world may fall,
I'll never let You go.

La Pieta!

if there's one place i wanna go right now my first choice would be Venice! altho it's not as vibrant and magnificent a city as it used to be a long time ago, im very sure walkin in her streets and imagining what it once was is thrilling enough! like their months of Carnival before the Lent and all the women in gliterri masks with pearls and jewels sewn on them and the men mysteriously magnificent behind their white bauta masks!! i jus read THE VENETIAN MASK and it just made me wanna go there all the more!! oh gosh and the story's bout these two girls from an orphanage called the Pieta that was famous for its choir. and i was wondering if this orphanage really existed so i came online to do a little searching and GOSH IT REALLY EXISTS!!! how exciting! and there was a big front picture of the orphanage/church and it looked SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH like how i'd pictured it when i was reading! i think the story's obviously not a true one but i'm very sure at least one of the Pieta girls once experienced what i'd read.. :) i look at the picture and i see Marietta and Elena's life in there as two of the most splendid singers and all the adventures of their lives! the orphanage is still there today and I WANT TO GO SEE IT!

how i wish i could live a life like theirs! perhaps jus for a while haha. of cos i dont wanan be an orphan but i jus want something out of the ordinary! their lives, what they do everyday, what they encounter, their experiences, the people, the place, the time.. it's all so beautiful!there's as much mystery and depth and darkness in their world as colour and music.. and it feels like water flowing and swirling in the sea away from the port. i picture mine as water flowing in a storm drain. u get the idea! oh man! that is what books are for i guess.. u get a little of all worlds! tho it only lasts for a few hours.

FOOT ROT! FOOT ROT! SAVE ME!!!!!!!! i have sore feet! and it feels so itchy and looks disgusting. and it was so horrible walking home!! so i finally went to the doc after all the advise frm mah frens:) not too bad jus got some cream and tiny tablets to take. thankfully i brought slippers to sch today so mah gross feet could get some fresh air...... lets hope mah feet will get well soon...........

cos of mah rotten feet i didnt do pe and train tdy.. so i jus sat at the gallery while the rest trained and attempted to draw those crazee graphs! and then some of my school's malay boys were singing their malay songs at the top of their lungs RIGHT beside me!!!!! haahahhah usually id have moved somewhere else but i jus sat there and enjoyed their singing! ay it was pretty good k tho they werent the choir! in fact it was really amazing coz they ALL could do the arabian sounding scale so well and they ALL were damn fast learners and they ALL sang in such unison!! like there's this spirit in their singing!! and of cos there was the drum too! i love drum beats hahah! and the boy who was playing the drum was kind n frenly, he showed me how they play da drum and i got to touch it!!!!! hahhah so i learnt something out of my culture tdy! anw yea i kinda want to faint now cos the song they were learning's STUCK in my head! cos i sat there for two hrs doin maths and listening to them sing!

so blessed, i can't contain it
so much i've gotta give it away
Your love, has taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me!

hahah yay kae today's another FIRST time..... the FIRST service of this year im attending! FINALLY ive made it there hahha. okaeee not right, but jus glad i gt to attend it anyway. i miss attending services SO SO much! singing along during worship n praising our Lord.. i felt extremely refreshed! n im surrounded by brudders and sisters in Christ! n tdy during sermon we learnt tt we gotta worship in truth and in spirit:) so i guess it's not jus singing songs of praise or saying how great our God is but we gotta do it with our hearts and mean what we say n do! hahah ok i admit sometimes i jus enjoy worshipping cos i get to sing mah lungs out and nobody will notice how mortifying my voice is coz the leader's voice into the mike is very loud hahha!
alriteee sch's gonna begin in six hours time and i'm all fresh and ready for da week! mm ready spiritually but not so homeworkually hehehaha ok nvm i dont care! i jus wanna get the week started!!

my first cell mtg!

hey! hahah okaeee i jus got back from mah cell grp mtg! and it's the first we had this year and it's the first EVER in my life for me haha! it was great GREAT GREAT! yeap first time for chris as cell leader too n he did a fine job! this is my first cell mtg and i'm so glad i enjoyed it a lot so i'm looking forward too all future cell mtgs! we discussed really interesting stuffs like cults n how the bible evolved! and we after cell we played a retarded but EXTREMELY hilarious game! mwahah okaee AND dinner was fantabulous!! i didnt know there were so many kinds of yummy foods arnd the church! i gotta try ALL of them! so here's a million and one thanks to Him for makin mah first cell mtg so enjoyable! God bless everyone!!!

feeling useless

can someone please slap me! u noe i came to a realisation last weekend that the reason why i feel lifeless and lethargic and horrible half the time is because i'm actually feeling USELESS! coz i'm lazy... dont wanna do my work... putting everything off... and then not feeling good coz i noe im goin to face trouble coz of my laziness... but YET im still not doing anything about it! i discovered that after i finished many maths question frm my holiday hw on sunday - the day i wasnt allowed to go out and i sat at my desk and did maths the whole day - and woah the difference i felt after that was superb! I FELT USEFUL AND GOOD! (even tho i couldnt manage lotsa questions) yep ok anw the thang is, right now, i'm feeling USELESS again. coz try as i may, i'm so damn lousy at maths. i cant do almost all my work and it just leaves me so ARGH!!! and the lit essay's beckoning but....i cant even anotate it properly. u noe how frustrating! like u're trying but u're somehow so stupid u cant even help yourself! osigh osigh! ive always believed that tuition is crap coz everything is up to u ta put the effort in! if you really try, you can n u will do it! but apparently NOT! looks like i'm pretty hopeless at maths... really... oh shit....

hi all! hahah let me tell you bout mah lessons today: today's pe lesson KILLED me. i cant tell you how fit i felt after that 50min session! all those running and sprinting and abs toning exercises! especially THAT lift your leg at a 25 degree angle!?!?! i could barely lift them up! hahhahh and later this evening i had touch training! arghgh! k but the trg wasnt bad at all, in fact it was fun coz it was rather slack lyk we jus played fun touch and passed the ball arnd hehe!

n then i thought geog was pretty good fun today! we had a debate whether nike was exploiting labourers in teh ELDCs.... n my stand is a firm NO. hahah im surprised myself coz last time i'd have stood on a firm YES. but yea i think today i really put myself in the shoes of the nike boss and i think it's too unrealistic not to want to maximise mah profits rite?? and as tsus puts it: you're exploited only when you feel exploited. i totally agree! and anw they do not even need THAT much money to make a living in somalia... it would be jus unproportionate!

OK and gp today was one hell gory lesson. i still cant believe the things i heard. we discussed human rights today andd we were on this article bout child soldiers.. about how they are forced to fight in the military, govt or non govt. and the cruel, degrading, humiliating things they go through is jus unimaginable. there was this family with four boys.. the military soldiers forced the boys to fight for them, and then they said they didnt need all four boys. so they gave two of the brothers a gun each and told them to shoot their two other brothers. ms ng said this was so that they wouldnt have anywhere to return to coz they've done the most disgraceful and cruel act on earth n they wldnt be accepted back. and with tt they'll be more willing to perform other cruel acts since they've already killed their own family members and the guilt will never compare to what they've already gone thru anyway. and then there was this ex child soldier who was interviewed.. he spoke of an incident where they gang raped a woman, and when the woman said she was tired n pleaded, their commander stucked his rifle into her vagina and fired. i'll leave u to react to that.

u noe there're too many things to fight for and to help in this world. i wish every single being in soul in this world could be peaceful. but tt's jus near impossible to reach out to all of them. jus kids alone, there're the child soldiers i jus mentioned, the children suffering from Aids in africa, children who are deprived of a chance for education, girls who are suffering from sexual exploitation cos of the prostitution trade; suffering because women in their homeland are given no freedom. everytime i read about them, i feel so helpless. coz they are so many of them.. all kinds of sufferings, hundreds of thousands of miles away from where i am. i wanna help all of them.. ALL! but how? perhaps i can save a few but what about the other millions n millions of them?

so that was week one of school! flew by so quickly, TOO quickly! okaeee there's always something special bout the first week of school. it used to be new books wrapped by my dad and new teachers but this year mm i guess it's the new campus! ok i wanna say AGAIN that me thinks it rocks! not that i dont miss the old one but this one is great! classrm's on the 7th and i'm proud to say my frens n i seldom take the lift! hahahh coz they're for lazy bums lyk the teachers. haha OK NO but then u wont know the fun n satisfaction from climbing -or even better running- up 7 storeys! which means FOURTEEN flights of steps!! it feels so much fresher when you step out from stairwells to the super windy corridor with uh aching legs hahah! and anyway it's much faster than waiting for the slowerthanasnail lift. oh YES and we discovered a heaven in school! owell at least to me, it is:) anyway im also really glad that the new year has come with the new sch coz i really feel like i'm starting afresh. im doin more homework than i did last time!

yest youzi n i went to the mercy relief centre to help out, or rather TRIED to help out! to my immense surprise there were SOOOOOOO many million volunteers!! to hell to whoever who said singaporeans are aloof when it comes to helping! we bascially did nearly nothing there coz there were too many pple hahhah the best part was the damn yummy chocs at this food corner for volunteers and the cute pumpkin peanet butter biscuit that i took home hahh and cute guinea pigs. haha okaee but at least i got to see for myself what the entire thing was like. it's pretty amazing how sooooo many people who dont know one another (besides the frens u go with) can get together to help people miles and miles away who are suffering. hahahh n the way they organize it is very cute. hehe go there and check it out urself! but right now i think they wont need much more help during the weekends. SO MANY PEOPLE! so u can go during the weekdays i guess :)

AND WITH THAT i wanna complain that my parents are sometimes SO annoying. i mean if my kid wants to participate in this kinda volunteer work, i'll definately encourage her!! they said i was wasting my time (!!?!) and that there are better ways to help, like donating cash, which we have already done! so we shouldnt encourage people to donate such bulky and difficult-to-send items. haha ok so maybe they were right coz i hardly did anything but at least i tried ok! AND since people have already donated things like clothes and pillows, u can might as well send them over as well! coz u never know how much that ONE pillow may mean! it could mean a kid having 4 hours more sleep every night so he can help his parents rebuild a home the next day! yea ok and i gotta admit goin to help pack stuffs again was part of my excuse so i could leave the house this morning to go to church before goin to the centre. but apparently i wasnt allowed since i'd already gone yesterday, and they think my maths is more impt.

and i noe this is bad, but im running out of excuses to go out on sunday mornings to attend service. well i try my best not to lie, but however i may try, it's still a lie hahah coz i didnt tell the entire truth. some say i shld just stop goin to church for the moment since my parents are so against it. but huh that would mean 3 years till i'm 21. HOW?!?!??! n my mom is way more stubborn than a donkey. hardly easy to even TRY n make her understand. ive been thinking and praying v hard for a way out without deceiving anybody but i haven't thought of any. so yea im still stuck here. i havent even stepped into st pauls this year :(

okaee i wanna end on a lighter note! so i'll just give thanks for the new bible i received from mich's fren lloyd as a late xmas gift! thank God and thank you lloyd for it!! hahhah it's really a GOOD one coz it's for youngsters like me and you and it can guide me with my bible reading too! be safe~

With unwanted burdens come undeserved blessings. i read this in rbc just now. we often grumble and complain bout all our troubles and we ask 'why me? why must i be the one bearing all these sufferings?" but den, when we say "why me" bout our sufferings, we would also have to ask "why me" for our blessings! hahha it's something i've never thought of before! i'm always and forever unsatisfied with what i have and i often feel frustrated and angry over issues that burden me which is happening more so these days. so we've gotta learn to count our blessings! easier said than done, i noe, but still it's possible! so whenever u're down and out or angry or sad and burdened, think of God's blessings and ask 'why me' then your grumbling will give way to praise :):)