haha I was just wondering this afternoon how I would define faith. and just earlier i was taken to a verse in the bible:)
Hebrews 11:1
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.
haha so simple. yeap just like that. simple but so crucial
I remember late last year, a friend i were discussing faith and he said he couldn't understand the faith of christians in a God that we cannot even see or know for sure exists (not true!), and he said that faith is just an excuse. but all of us exercise faith in our own ways. the fact that we are planning activities and looking forward to things that we can do in the future - that alone already requires faith, the belief that we will even be alive so that all of those could happen, isnt it?
love out
tiann~
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
bubblegum n prayers
i like today's rbc dailybread that likened his quarter that could buy him his favourite bubblegum from the machine to our prayers that releases the vast resources of God's blessings and character.
it is so true. there was a time when my prayers were not earnest and gradually i barely prayed. i felt so dry and i could literally feel Him closing the doors of His vast resources on me. anw i jus wanna say that prayer is so important! so so so important!
here are some lyrics from the song "My Desire".
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king
You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king
I've sung this song a zillion times in church but never before had the lyrics glared at me the way it did today. It's always like that because God knows exactly when He wants to tell this to me; exactly when it would mean the way He wants it to mean to me. I know that lately He's trying to teach me to let go of myself. I'm trying too hard on my own at everything and I'm too stubborn to quit trying so hard. Even when I think I'm laying it down before Him, I'm actually not. It is so much more difficult than I had imagined it to be. I thought that if I were willing, it would come naturally. but I'm way more stubborn than that. Like shu said, it is something that we have to learn to do over and over again.
"The thistles of self-interest grow naturally within me, while the fruit that pleases God requires constant weeding and watering through prayer, confession, and obedience to the Lord. Without these, the soil of my heart will become choked with the thorns of trivial pursuits and greed.
'Keep your heart with all diligence,' Solomon wrote, 'for out of it spring the issues of life'"
it is so true. there was a time when my prayers were not earnest and gradually i barely prayed. i felt so dry and i could literally feel Him closing the doors of His vast resources on me. anw i jus wanna say that prayer is so important! so so so important!
here are some lyrics from the song "My Desire".
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king
You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king
I've sung this song a zillion times in church but never before had the lyrics glared at me the way it did today. It's always like that because God knows exactly when He wants to tell this to me; exactly when it would mean the way He wants it to mean to me. I know that lately He's trying to teach me to let go of myself. I'm trying too hard on my own at everything and I'm too stubborn to quit trying so hard. Even when I think I'm laying it down before Him, I'm actually not. It is so much more difficult than I had imagined it to be. I thought that if I were willing, it would come naturally. but I'm way more stubborn than that. Like shu said, it is something that we have to learn to do over and over again.
"The thistles of self-interest grow naturally within me, while the fruit that pleases God requires constant weeding and watering through prayer, confession, and obedience to the Lord. Without these, the soil of my heart will become choked with the thorns of trivial pursuits and greed.
'Keep your heart with all diligence,' Solomon wrote, 'for out of it spring the issues of life'"
Monday, March 26, 2007
i had the best tutorial i've ever attended this semester earlier! it was a human geography tutorial and we were discussing migration and globalization. and despite me being so terribly sleepy, i thoroughly enjoyed every moment that monica brought the class through. what struck me hardest was the video about sri lankan maids in lebanon. it's pretty much similar to philippino maids in singapore. audio visual is always the best way to grab and tug at the strings of other people's hearts because it is so raw and real.
so we were talking about migrant workers in singapore and the difficulties they face and stuff like that. and a classmate mentioned that in some condos in singapore, they dont allow the maids to use the lifts provided they are accompanied by their employers, and most condos do not allow domestic workers to use the pool. i just thought it seemed very discriminatory, but i guess they would have their valid reasons. the lift thing is very ridiculous though.
i love the way monica did the tutorial. it was so relaxed yet fruitful and she's so easygoing and cool! she did research or journalist work in Lebanon and the middle eastern area and she was there during the war, interviewing all kinds of people there and stuff.
and there was something she mentioned that i'd never thought about before. when she first came to singapore, she was puzzled why we were so strict about the safety belt rule.. like in the cab there's this announcement thing tt tells u to fasten ur seatbelt. but when you look out of the window, there they are foreign workers piled up onto the back of a truck speeding down the expresslanes. she thought they were rather objectified, like equipments getting transported arnd. and i think it tells a lot too. so we only bother about and protect our own people and our safety precautions don't apply to them? so it is only when they commit crimes that our law is applicable. and then we discriminate them because we think they are dirty and unlawful.
she also talked about the grass cutters who carry the machines and wear the sign "danger keep out" on their backs. also pretty objectifying. and nobody notices them at all. it is as though they're just part of the machines cutting our grass. now that i think about it.. i think most of us, me included, take their work as a use-discard-rebuy thing. it is time to change that and show some appreciation to our unsung heroes. our group said that we shld have a domestic workers day and it really got me wondering why, when we are so dependent on their efforts, do we not have such a day to honour their work!
anw, my first year is coming to an end pretty soon and i'm so sad i dont want it to end. the first of everything is usually the best because there isnt anything to compare it to, and more importantly special because every single moment and experience was so very fresh!
so we were talking about migrant workers in singapore and the difficulties they face and stuff like that. and a classmate mentioned that in some condos in singapore, they dont allow the maids to use the lifts provided they are accompanied by their employers, and most condos do not allow domestic workers to use the pool. i just thought it seemed very discriminatory, but i guess they would have their valid reasons. the lift thing is very ridiculous though.
i love the way monica did the tutorial. it was so relaxed yet fruitful and she's so easygoing and cool! she did research or journalist work in Lebanon and the middle eastern area and she was there during the war, interviewing all kinds of people there and stuff.
and there was something she mentioned that i'd never thought about before. when she first came to singapore, she was puzzled why we were so strict about the safety belt rule.. like in the cab there's this announcement thing tt tells u to fasten ur seatbelt. but when you look out of the window, there they are foreign workers piled up onto the back of a truck speeding down the expresslanes. she thought they were rather objectified, like equipments getting transported arnd. and i think it tells a lot too. so we only bother about and protect our own people and our safety precautions don't apply to them? so it is only when they commit crimes that our law is applicable. and then we discriminate them because we think they are dirty and unlawful.
she also talked about the grass cutters who carry the machines and wear the sign "danger keep out" on their backs. also pretty objectifying. and nobody notices them at all. it is as though they're just part of the machines cutting our grass. now that i think about it.. i think most of us, me included, take their work as a use-discard-rebuy thing. it is time to change that and show some appreciation to our unsung heroes. our group said that we shld have a domestic workers day and it really got me wondering why, when we are so dependent on their efforts, do we not have such a day to honour their work!
anw, my first year is coming to an end pretty soon and i'm so sad i dont want it to end. the first of everything is usually the best because there isnt anything to compare it to, and more importantly special because every single moment and experience was so very fresh!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
hmm.. i'm glad i chose to continue to play touch this sem in school =) it isn't as bad as i thought it would be.. i thought i'd be really trying to survive and get by trainings, but it's actually quite fun and more challenging now with the coach cos he really teaches us things and im learning lots of new stuffs. it's really so different from trg for ihg.
haha k toodles~~
I NEED SLEEP..zzzZZzzzz....zz.zz.zzz.z.z.zzz....
haha k toodles~~
I NEED SLEEP..zzzZZzzzz....zz.zz.zzz.z.z.zzz....
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Life Is....
by Mother Teresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
by Mother Teresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I dont dare to sleep on my bed.. i think there are bedbugs on it even though i just changed the sheets. they've been feasting on my legs man and it's horribly itchy and one of em bites is secreting weird stuff. argh i dun wanna slp.. n there are too many things on my mind at the moment.. my mind is neither here nor at home.
i really need to get a job, and this time i really need to! the last time I'd thought i'd like to try getting one.. well it led to nowhere. but given the current circumstance, it's necessary and urgent.
i think it kinda answers my dilemna to whether or not i should be continuing ivp touch. we had a team talk and meeting this evening, and I'm glad issues were raised and the team is going to make an effort to train and play like a team. i think it's not very important whether we win or not. It's more important to leave the competition having fought as a team. If we do win, we gotta win it as a team, or else it's just as good as nothing. I felt very encouraged to stay on, but I really cannot bring myself to commit to the trainings. I know i'd be missing out a lot not participating in this year's league, but i guess i gotta give and take. there's still next year i hope..
anw earlier during the expedition session we discussed the difference between community work and service learning(which we will be doing). it has never struck me that the focus of service learning was that much about ourselves and taking from society. i guess it's a whole new perspective of learning from community work. i think i did service learning in secondary school before but it wasn't anything like that. i thought it was a little selfish, this whole idea of taking more than giving. but on the other hand, it's a pretty good alternative way to discovering ourselves and the way we interact and reciprocate. tt's the word we were suppose to ponder upon haha.
sometimes i kinda wish i were still on the projects team cos i'd wanted so much to work on the programming! i was thinking of stuffs like taking them on a virtual tour around the world. i think that would really open the eyes of the children and inspire them to learn and embrace the limitless marvels the world has to offer. but who says we can't contribute just because we're not in the proj comm? hahah i think everybody's open to ideas huh =)
tmr i'd be collecting my new hamster from chen yong =) very excited! haha i told my friends i felt like a pregnant mother preparing a baby room for my baby! i know it's JUST a hamster but pls forgive me, this is my first time keeping a pet! and the thought of a life entrusted to me seems like a pretty big responsbility! I havnet seen the hamster yet but i'm ready to love it with all my might! it's a very different feeling from owning a new handphone or something like tt cos this thing is kicking with life that God has breathed into him! haha okay im overhyped.. heh. i needa check out hannah's baby too!
toodles.. i shld shut my eyes and forget about the bedbugs..
i really need to get a job, and this time i really need to! the last time I'd thought i'd like to try getting one.. well it led to nowhere. but given the current circumstance, it's necessary and urgent.
i think it kinda answers my dilemna to whether or not i should be continuing ivp touch. we had a team talk and meeting this evening, and I'm glad issues were raised and the team is going to make an effort to train and play like a team. i think it's not very important whether we win or not. It's more important to leave the competition having fought as a team. If we do win, we gotta win it as a team, or else it's just as good as nothing. I felt very encouraged to stay on, but I really cannot bring myself to commit to the trainings. I know i'd be missing out a lot not participating in this year's league, but i guess i gotta give and take. there's still next year i hope..
anw earlier during the expedition session we discussed the difference between community work and service learning(which we will be doing). it has never struck me that the focus of service learning was that much about ourselves and taking from society. i guess it's a whole new perspective of learning from community work. i think i did service learning in secondary school before but it wasn't anything like that. i thought it was a little selfish, this whole idea of taking more than giving. but on the other hand, it's a pretty good alternative way to discovering ourselves and the way we interact and reciprocate. tt's the word we were suppose to ponder upon haha.
sometimes i kinda wish i were still on the projects team cos i'd wanted so much to work on the programming! i was thinking of stuffs like taking them on a virtual tour around the world. i think that would really open the eyes of the children and inspire them to learn and embrace the limitless marvels the world has to offer. but who says we can't contribute just because we're not in the proj comm? hahah i think everybody's open to ideas huh =)
tmr i'd be collecting my new hamster from chen yong =) very excited! haha i told my friends i felt like a pregnant mother preparing a baby room for my baby! i know it's JUST a hamster but pls forgive me, this is my first time keeping a pet! and the thought of a life entrusted to me seems like a pretty big responsbility! I havnet seen the hamster yet but i'm ready to love it with all my might! it's a very different feeling from owning a new handphone or something like tt cos this thing is kicking with life that God has breathed into him! haha okay im overhyped.. heh. i needa check out hannah's baby too!
toodles.. i shld shut my eyes and forget about the bedbugs..
Monday, January 15, 2007
feeling really dreadful now... i cant find the mac office installer pack =( i havent given up yet! it's v expensive and i shared it with two other friends.
well o well the sem is goin to begin full blown v soon, and i'm hardly rested. im excited yet so tired. i guess uncle D is right, i ought to check my load of activities. im suffering from insomnia too! definitely not helping.
this sem's modules definitely look promisingly more interesting than my last sem's. i thoroughly enjoyed my last semester even tho the modules were terrible cos i had great project groups to work with. it's always a risk i know, but i think it's worth the risk to work with classmates u've never met before. it's much more challenging because it forces us to step up and out! different people bring out different sides of our personality and minds, so new groupmates, good or lazy ones, show us stuff we never knew we had!
im glad i took the se mods! the lecturers seem very fun and the group of TAs are a cosmo group from all over e world. i hope i get the guy who is studying cemeteries and space! hahah i wanna read his paper. there's this sea summer sch in july too that im v interested in, but of course there are constrains.. like the usual $$ and i should be working. well, if there's something God wants me to do in there, we'll figure a way to the summer sch together!
im in a dilemna now.. i dont know if i should continue going for ivp touch. doesnt seem to be getting anywhere, dreading trainings.. this shouldnt be the way. ive been prayin for a direction, but it's only gotten worse. i'd actually decided to discontinue, and then jus work towards a good half-marathon at the end of the year. but after jess talked to me, there's surprisingly much more than what there seems to be. besides, there arent many juniors left after the snrs graduate. so should i stay and do my best to make a difference?
it's been rather rough at home too.. my parents, their business and many other matters. above all, i'm grateful that the Lord kept us together. i wonder if i'd be angry with Him if he hadn't. pastor always reminds us that we were born into our respective families for a purpose. i'm seeing it and i know that He's using me in my family. it's going to be very difficult, but i cant wait to see it when He's glorified through my family.. i'm serious. I know that unwavering faith and obedience from love is the key, and I really want to keep it going.
love out to all!
well o well the sem is goin to begin full blown v soon, and i'm hardly rested. im excited yet so tired. i guess uncle D is right, i ought to check my load of activities. im suffering from insomnia too! definitely not helping.
this sem's modules definitely look promisingly more interesting than my last sem's. i thoroughly enjoyed my last semester even tho the modules were terrible cos i had great project groups to work with. it's always a risk i know, but i think it's worth the risk to work with classmates u've never met before. it's much more challenging because it forces us to step up and out! different people bring out different sides of our personality and minds, so new groupmates, good or lazy ones, show us stuff we never knew we had!
im glad i took the se mods! the lecturers seem very fun and the group of TAs are a cosmo group from all over e world. i hope i get the guy who is studying cemeteries and space! hahah i wanna read his paper. there's this sea summer sch in july too that im v interested in, but of course there are constrains.. like the usual $$ and i should be working. well, if there's something God wants me to do in there, we'll figure a way to the summer sch together!
im in a dilemna now.. i dont know if i should continue going for ivp touch. doesnt seem to be getting anywhere, dreading trainings.. this shouldnt be the way. ive been prayin for a direction, but it's only gotten worse. i'd actually decided to discontinue, and then jus work towards a good half-marathon at the end of the year. but after jess talked to me, there's surprisingly much more than what there seems to be. besides, there arent many juniors left after the snrs graduate. so should i stay and do my best to make a difference?
it's been rather rough at home too.. my parents, their business and many other matters. above all, i'm grateful that the Lord kept us together. i wonder if i'd be angry with Him if he hadn't. pastor always reminds us that we were born into our respective families for a purpose. i'm seeing it and i know that He's using me in my family. it's going to be very difficult, but i cant wait to see it when He's glorified through my family.. i'm serious. I know that unwavering faith and obedience from love is the key, and I really want to keep it going.
love out to all!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
i think the main point of my urban geog module is... that the poor are always and will always be marginalized. hahah i really think this is all i learnt from my module. whatever topic whatever reading, i juuuust can pick this issue out.
it's sad, but it's reality man in our capitalist world. but then again right, think about the world that the rich indulge in.. it's just a fantasy and an imagined world the marketeers throw up to hoax their moolah out. my urban retail readings got me thinkin.. everything that people generally live in and live for today are created by other people. how pathetic is that.. it's really not easy resisting being bought into that kind of fantasy.
i honestly find a lot more meaning in living for a great God.
it's sad, but it's reality man in our capitalist world. but then again right, think about the world that the rich indulge in.. it's just a fantasy and an imagined world the marketeers throw up to hoax their moolah out. my urban retail readings got me thinkin.. everything that people generally live in and live for today are created by other people. how pathetic is that.. it's really not easy resisting being bought into that kind of fantasy.
i honestly find a lot more meaning in living for a great God.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
this is a little crazy it's two weeks to finals and i've barely begun my preparations! still into assignments and projects that have yet to be finished!! and the weird part is.. im not really panicking.
i've jus applied for a change of faculty from bizad to arts =) i can't wait for next sem to come!! lookin forward to exploring the E modules! so many people are telling me this wasnt really a gd decision cos a general arts degree is no where nearly as marketable as a bizad degree and tt itself is already a very general degree. but university is our once in a lifetime chance, dont you want to thoroughly enjoy it? if we're passionate about what we're studying, it'll make aceing university so much more easier! the thought of going through the rest of my bizad mods and then majoring in something that is pretty interesting but not as exciting as what i'd like to do isnt' appealing:( and above all, the most important thing is that i know this is my calling and i'm comfortable and at peace with my decision. what God has installed for me, i know it will be along this path. as pastor told me, take it a step at a time.. why be so impatient and path out my future for myself? besides, i know that my personality is not suited for the finance sector or the corporate world, and i'd like to venture into fields where i get to deal with children.
oyea i met a friend of a friend this afternoon who is a social work fresh graudate. he just applied for a job as prison counsellor! cool.. anw we were talkin about the fields of research and the modules that were being explored and taught in nus.. and i asked about the kids, and he said there's actually pretty little concentration on it in nus cos most of e lecturers here specialize in other fields and people are usually interested in youths and teenagers rather than children!
the most amazing part was my mom.. she actually gave me the go ahead! i never knew she had so much faith in me that i knew what i was doing! i really thought she was going to insist that i stay in bizad. gosh.. God's miracle. hahah. i was really unbelievably touched.. it means so much to me! although my dad was pretty disappointed, i know that if i work hard to do well, i'll show him the wisdom of God's guidance, and tt being financially well off isnt the most important in life.
i'm glad that i took this step and did something about the change tt i felt i should make. it's very different from the person i usually am.. i'd have sucked it in and jus live with it, and i thank God for the courage He gave me cos the fear of disappointing my parents and regretting this decision was so real and big despite my desire and prayers. and now i see why He closed the doors of smu on me. i wouldnt have had this option if He hadn't!
i've jus applied for a change of faculty from bizad to arts =) i can't wait for next sem to come!! lookin forward to exploring the E modules! so many people are telling me this wasnt really a gd decision cos a general arts degree is no where nearly as marketable as a bizad degree and tt itself is already a very general degree. but university is our once in a lifetime chance, dont you want to thoroughly enjoy it? if we're passionate about what we're studying, it'll make aceing university so much more easier! the thought of going through the rest of my bizad mods and then majoring in something that is pretty interesting but not as exciting as what i'd like to do isnt' appealing:( and above all, the most important thing is that i know this is my calling and i'm comfortable and at peace with my decision. what God has installed for me, i know it will be along this path. as pastor told me, take it a step at a time.. why be so impatient and path out my future for myself? besides, i know that my personality is not suited for the finance sector or the corporate world, and i'd like to venture into fields where i get to deal with children.
oyea i met a friend of a friend this afternoon who is a social work fresh graudate. he just applied for a job as prison counsellor! cool.. anw we were talkin about the fields of research and the modules that were being explored and taught in nus.. and i asked about the kids, and he said there's actually pretty little concentration on it in nus cos most of e lecturers here specialize in other fields and people are usually interested in youths and teenagers rather than children!
the most amazing part was my mom.. she actually gave me the go ahead! i never knew she had so much faith in me that i knew what i was doing! i really thought she was going to insist that i stay in bizad. gosh.. God's miracle. hahah. i was really unbelievably touched.. it means so much to me! although my dad was pretty disappointed, i know that if i work hard to do well, i'll show him the wisdom of God's guidance, and tt being financially well off isnt the most important in life.
i'm glad that i took this step and did something about the change tt i felt i should make. it's very different from the person i usually am.. i'd have sucked it in and jus live with it, and i thank God for the courage He gave me cos the fear of disappointing my parents and regretting this decision was so real and big despite my desire and prayers. and now i see why He closed the doors of smu on me. i wouldnt have had this option if He hadn't!
Friday, October 20, 2006
hi y'all! heez havent said anything here in such a long while! =)
if ya happen to be feelin squashed up, STRESSED!, and every day is mundane n meaningless, just hang on in there! well stay positive and enjoy what u gotta do cos it's all in the mind.... God didnt give us life to make us cry!
heh. whoever it was who told me that if i could survive jc, uni would be peanuts... you're SO WRONG! hahah anw i just discovered why my university education has been so dull so far... cos i hardly put in any effort to read up on my own! a couple of modules that i'm taking are level 2 modules and i thought they were pretty difficult cos i'm so lost in them. but with all e projs coming up i'm forced to research and comb the library for them and my my! all the yummy stuffs in there haha! wow man i love browsing thru the picture books! anw it's not boring anymore i'm beginning to understand why dr mac loves her work so much :) there are so many ideas out there and people with so much to say and offer!
okie dokie
love out!
i'll let u know when november's here, i cant wait for next week to be over!
anw here's a hello to pam! :)
if ya happen to be feelin squashed up, STRESSED!, and every day is mundane n meaningless, just hang on in there! well stay positive and enjoy what u gotta do cos it's all in the mind.... God didnt give us life to make us cry!
heh. whoever it was who told me that if i could survive jc, uni would be peanuts... you're SO WRONG! hahah anw i just discovered why my university education has been so dull so far... cos i hardly put in any effort to read up on my own! a couple of modules that i'm taking are level 2 modules and i thought they were pretty difficult cos i'm so lost in them. but with all e projs coming up i'm forced to research and comb the library for them and my my! all the yummy stuffs in there haha! wow man i love browsing thru the picture books! anw it's not boring anymore i'm beginning to understand why dr mac loves her work so much :) there are so many ideas out there and people with so much to say and offer!
okie dokie
love out!
i'll let u know when november's here, i cant wait for next week to be over!
anw here's a hello to pam! :)
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