I keep asking God to help me and do it for me because I can't do it on my own. and I think that it has come to a point where I know God is already helping me. But because I'm not His robot but His child, He's not going to control my mind and my world and do everything for me. He's leaving the rest up to me. It's my choice to make, my test to endure, my lesson to learn.


meaningless. argh. i can be so unreal and selfish i can't believe myself. ewk.