jia recommended this site - http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/ to me coz i wasn't sure what to do during my QT. it really helped me a lot, n i think it's great guidance - and a perfect way to begin a day:)

last night God answered one of my prayers. it was disappointing and a little saddening but i was very glad to know that He did listen to me afterall. i'd asked for guidance and help and i'd asked him to give me what i need, and not simply what i want - they're different. so He's given me his answer and i'll rest in that=)

oh yea and the trip was wonderfully wonderful! it didnt start out all that great though. hahaha the purpose of the trip was to spend more time with my grandparents and relatives there and coincidentally my aunt's family was there staying for the whole month! yeap so the house was pretty lively:) my family spent two days with my mom's business associate. he was VERY hospitable hahah pleasantly shocking coz no one back home here's that nice. yeap he brought us around and actually drove us all the way to the thai border:) yeapp. BUT i was pretty bored coz they mostly spoke bout business.

most memorable was playing with my cousins on the last night actually. hahah they're way younger than me but it was damn fun! we played till 3am in the morning silly games that were super funny coz everybody kept making stupid mistakes. oh yea! and wanyi's family popped by for a day too since they were in penang. we went to kedah peak. it was even better than the last time i went up there. it's my favourite place in Kedah:) 10km high u can see the endless stretch of padi field in alostar through the clouds, the sea and a few cute little islands. we were lucky the sky that day was superb. OH yes and i saw the BIGGEST LONGEST rainbow in my entire life one evening! it was SO clear and SO huge and yes SO beautiful. in fact there were TWO! haha the other one wasnt so clear, like it's double image.

and before we left i hugged my grandpa=D that was the best part of my trip haha it's the first time i ever hugged him. he was very happy i could tell:) i love my grandparents a lot, a lot, though i hardly see them, and im still a little afraid of my grandpa hahah i have no idea why but it's been like that since i was a little girl. but i'm growing out of it! i hope haha:)

i know how to go up there on my own le. it's simple. hahah so i guess next time i can go back for a visit alone if my parents arent free to accompany me. hee my grandpa said i could if i wanted to he'll go pick me up:) great place to be. sungei petani's a small town, everything's slow paced, cars there are 20 years old. though the air isn't supposed to be fresh, i still love the smell of it, especially the afternoon and night breeze. how gently hokkien's spoken there. breakfast from the market and of coz my grandma's food. hehe. a great getaway if i'm ever stressed here=D

just when my home turns into some cosy paradise i have to leave......!!! with a new comp i can watch endless vcds so it's no sore that i dont have a tvee! and we just finished packing n tidying the entire house up so it's spacious and clean and comfortable! hahah but gotta say byebye to it for a week! leaving for kedah tonight:) yeps not excited at all hahhaha coz nothing to be excited about. probably gonna juz stay at my grandparents' home and do my school work ugh. hahahah the only excitement's kedah peak:) endless stretch of padi fields u see frm high up there. the last time there were a few farmers burning their fields. and it's an escape from the soaring heat down there. hehe

great thing miche, letting me listen to your mp3 player. hahha it's gotten me hooked to maksim!! he's great!!!! ALL his songs i've listened to so far are fabulous. hahhah but the best is still the Croatian Rhapsody that first caught my attention:D yeps i'm gonna hunt down his cds in m'sia!
alrites stay safe everyone and pray for my family's safe trip down n back hahaha God bless!~

i'm so terribly bushed now but very satisfied:) did some fundraising for the old folks living in red hill, and it was really an experience. and people were mostly very kind, especially the ones who gave us encouragements=D most of them returned my smile even though they didnt donate any money. hahah that itself was encouraging enough:) yep man totally enjoyable despite it being so super tiring. it was just TWO hours but i was already so tired i thought my legs were going to crack. yep and i discovered it's true that if u're sincere about it, people will listen to u, and it's not true that people have no time to listen to your story:) so yep that's some blessing. and i MUST mention this guy who gave sherm 100 DOLLARS!!!! omg hahhahah that was amazing. i would have been stupified. woots so im looking forward to another day of fundraising:) and yes, thank God for opening the hearts of all those generous and charitable people out there who made my day=D everyone have a good rest gdnite!!~

hey there!! heheh wheee this feels damn good! i'm typin on a brand new keyboard facing a superb monitor and everything's so smooth nothing hangs. woot! =D

just got back frm YF camp! it was a pleasant one:) got to know many many new people and everybody there was great! though i hardly knew anyone and everything seemed unfamiliar it was really enjoyable! the beach games were the BEST part!! hahah played till our muscles ached like mad! and the food was omg so much and so good pity i didnt have a good appetite. bigger pity it will be the last YF camp for this current batch coz we're gonna be young adults!! oh and i must not forget! we did a few personality tests and lo and behold i was super shocked when i read the printout coz i couldn't believe how accurate it was. word for word man! yep that was kinda like the highlight of the camp hahah coz it was really interesting! and most importantly i got to really spend time with Him, especially since the four days were specially set aside for Him, and i'm thankful for that. i hope my faith will grow stronger each day:)
ooo yea and not to forget! there was the beach touch comp too!! i really enjoyed myself and i think it's more fun playing on sand coz i can run barefooted! and absolutely no qualms bout diving hehe:)

yeah mans i feel so refreshed back home now and i'm just looking forward to the trip down to kedah on thurs to go see gonggong n popo:D and that means im like ditching my afua and yf commitments. ARGH. hahah the personality test said i feel guilty too easily and i dont pay enough attention to my own needs. i pay too much to others'. so am i not supposed to feel bad bout ditching the afua n yf commitments? eh. nvm shant think so much hahah too bad for me la if they're mad at me. hees~ k God bless everyone~

my comp crashedddd and it's bringing so much inconvenience! but good coz i dont spend any unnecessary time on the comp anymore:)

uhwell i'm even busier now im goin to faint. all those cip stuffs are taking up so much of my time grrrrrrr... i hardly have time for myself:( and there will be church activities and the camp also oh mannn..heh not that i'm complaining bout that one. yesterday i spent half my day tying ribbons and carrying heavy HEAVY HEAVY boxes of huge pretty candles at YC! hahah it was MUCH more enjoyable than i expected:) i think it's partly coz we were surrounding by seas of pretty pink colours and they make you happy haha and tying ribbons are DAMN fun!! especially when u're getting pro at it mwahahah:P i'll be selling the candles in town next month! to help the lonely old folks in redhill..well i dunno how im gonna do it! i think i ought to go down and see them and spend some time with them then i'll truly understand the cause of my fundraising. i mean when u ask people to donate u gotta be more sincere and what if they ask me bout the old folks and i dunno what to say that would be so embarrassing!

uh k another gd thing i've started on my maths holiday homework! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! though it's only very few questions and i'm a super cheater bug. i look at the answers then i do the questions. hahahh

heh k im supposed to be doin my cip now but i'm uh slacking here at the NYC =D uh kinda cant wait for this to be over! hahah =) oh and i hope my dad n i can make a trip to KL and to Penang to visit my grandparents n some relatives..i doubt i'll be going there for CNY next yr coz i'll be missing too much school n my dad isn't alright with it. but i think my grandparents are really growing old and uh...i dun wannt to regret anything yea. so i'll make up for it with a trip down this hols. haahh nvm FINALLY a CNY spent in singapore!

busy as a beeeeeeeeee

i'm so so so so beeeseeeee!!!!! but now i'm enjoying it!! =D
im terribly burnt from training, i'm back to how i was like in uhh..sec 2? hahhahah true blue africann! training's crazy sooo many times a week and my muscles are forever crying for oxygen! but it's good! i feel fresh and fit most of the time! competition's gonna be over soon, and i'm going to miss this entire pretty intensive training season quite a bit:( esp the company of all of us!

hmm and thenn i have my AFUA n YC commitments as usual..the busking festival is coming SOON! i still think i'm one of the MOST slack members mwahahah so i tried to do something by volunteering during the last mtg, and i still have not gotten that done! hee i hope it'll be a blast!! and they want the location managers to double up as emcees....omgosh imagine acting cute in front of a big orchard crowd!!!!! hahhahh i'll DIE of embarrassment.

AND THEN i kinda got myself a job at the turkish restaurant in far east;) hahahh everyone thinks it's a cool place to work! and i think so too!!! hahahha i can learn to play the turkish ice-cream tricks and learn their language frm the man there:D ehhh all those just IF i get the job! but since they said they're in need of part time workers, i think i stand a pretty good chance!! let's hope the boss calls me back soooooooooon......

AND of course there's always Him! the last service was awesome! it was my first time witnessing people getting baptised! congrats to chris=D the church's one looks like a swimming pool hahahha albeit a teeny one hehe! and the sermon was interesting for once! mwahahah.. i didnt have to open my eyes extra wide to look like i was listening! and worship was the best part, as always=) i love the songs!! and there's this particular one that always makes me cry. and i wanna say that He has been there for me, He's been listening to me, encouraging me, comforting me and answering my prayers, and i cant be more grateful for all of it. i'm happy to say that i've truly learnt to be satisfied with what i can have. because i really believe that if He thinks i need it, He'll bless me with it. but if i dont get what i would like to get, it simply means that He thinks i do not need it. perhaps someone else needs it more than i do, or it could actually even be a blessing in disguise!! =0)

OH n i just made oreo cheese cake!!!!!!!!! mwahahahahha! clara taught me how to do it!! the batter was SO yummy i could hardly resist digging my fingers into the bowl! hehe my whole family cant wait for morninggggg!!!!!! off to bed now,God bless,everyone!!~

=D

i enjoyed every single bit of the salsa class!!!!!!! it was soooooooo fun!! and they're therapy sessions~ hahah i feel sooo much better after each class and it's like some workout class also hahhaah:) maybe i'd try out the intermediate classes, a bit ex tho hee=) yayyyy happyhappyjoyjoy x)

i just read what nana wrote. she said many people pile themselves up with things they dont enjoy doing, and obviously, they're unhappy at the end of the day. ive got a feeling that is exactly happening to me.

i've been SO packed these few days, travelling so much, springing impromptu activties on myself, i can hardly breathe!!! i simply had to forgo a stayover so i can rest tonight. BUT the thing is, these activities were all worthy of my time. it was the things that nagged at me at the back of my mind that caused me to frown unconsciously all the time. i really dunno what in the world i'm doing. and i'm TERRIBLY disappointed things have turned out this way. it is my dream, things that i ought to enjoy doing. but wth..i know the reason why i am not. i've got to find the courage to do something about it.

=)but as always, there are things that everyone has to be thankful for. thank God for bringing me through every training so far this holiday. im thankful for the comfort You gave me everytime i screwed up on the field, the strength u blessed me with when i really thought i couldnt move, and the joy when i finally got something right, even if it's just a small improvement=) most importantly, i thank You for bringing yan back into my life, even if it's just for this holiday. i was really really SO happy to spend the few days with him=)

everyone enjoy your hols~ spend it WISELY!! heh that advice shld go to myself too hees:)

bad day

ugh. today was easily the worst day ever in a million years. started off really good n fresh in the sunny morning BUT it had to be ruined by some asshole online. i know it was juz a joke but i was really damn annoyed n i wasnt the least amused.

and i went shopping with my mom. and she was SUPER unsupportive of me going overseas to do humanitarian work. WHY!!!! and then it started pouring heavily. this is the first time this year i'm REALLY shopping. i spent a damn lot of money today, or rather my mom haha. i tell u i'm a really BAD shopper. dont ever ask me out to shop with u coz i'm really impatient even shopping for my OWN clothes!! my mom was super efficient, she kept dumping pants after pants after blouse into the changing room! and i was quite annoyed coz i knew those shops cheated with their mirrors in the changing room. they just make u look slimmer but actually u look much fatter than what u see! hehe and i also did the check nana taught me to see if the mirror was REALLY a mirror or a fake one that is actually a glass wall. heh well if u see a gap between the mirror and the reflection when u put ur finger to the mirror, then it's real! hmm well at least i bought some clothes=) anw i hate heavy rains...it makes me lethargic and i felt like barfing on my way home.. and then i started to ponder bout things that didnt help.. made me feel even worse. i juz thought about how i'm really losing passion n interest in everything i'm doing. and how i get myself into things and messes that i regret. and that's why i do not enjoy doing the things i do even though they're the things that i want to do. owell i dunno what to do now.. i guess i'd have to begin offending people. ugh. right now my stomach feels REALLY funny and my teeth at the back of my mouth are ACHING! omgosh pls dont let it be gum decay or something! I BRUSH MY TEETH TWICE A DAY OK!!!!!!! and sometimes THRICE!!!! or could it be the wisdom tooth??!?!?! OH MAN..........................

i didnt know i wasnt supposed to believe in healing power of acupunctures??? i learnt this morning in st paul's that christians shouldnt believe in it coz that way u're not having 100% faith in God. i was puzzled and asked some of them during lunch and they said coz acupuncture (esp the sinseh kind) is based on the yin n yang believe and the 7 -dunnowhat- points in our body and that the head is the most holy part blahblah something like that. hahahh well i dunno what to think of it coz it DID help my mom!

hm decided not to go for the 10-day trip up m'sia during this hols with my cousins and their family. =( it's way too long and i hafta forgo lots of YC and AFUA stuffs for it. plus uh i need to do something bout my econs retest in january and MATHS. BLEAGH! BUT I REALLY NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh help. i need to get out of this cramped island for a while. maybe i'll join qianni's family for their hol if it's not imposing on them. coz it'll be a much shorter vacation say 4 days? or pray hard that my dad will be able to get tickets so we can visit my paternal grandparents and relatives in m'sia. i NEED to spend time with my ah ma and gonggong! miss them =( eh and i dun wanna regret not spending time with them while i still can.