Tuesday, September 07, 2004

hallo

hallo hallo

Friday, September 03, 2004

today was such a nice nice day!! let me list a few things that made my day today =D

1. i FINALLY completed a rockwall climb!! hahahh i'm glad i decided to go for PE today! so at least i've tried the rockwall before saying byebye to our cosy little campus! and it was an achievement to me coz i thought i wouldn't be able to do it and when i was almost up there i got stuck for SO LONG!! i thought of giving up but thanks to those down there encouraging me n trying to help me find ways to get up! =) hee im so glad i didn't say "i'm coming down" before i reached the top. i stayed up there for a while and oh my the view frm up there's really beautiful!! below's the second field with trees and more trees, together with the clear afternoon sky! i wish i had a camera up there. n of coz thanks mich for being so patient being my belayer :)

2. MOST importantly, i talked to globe today!!!!!!! hahah i was such a nut! freakin out and almost chickening out! haha owell i've never experienced this kinda thing before! i was hesitating so much and my heart was thumping like MAD!! hee glad i got an excuse n asked him to join in AFUA's busking festivities! hahah he surprisingly agreed to consider it with his band and he was really quite nice about it! and didn't shoot me a what-the-hell look :) hahah thankful for that! but i stupidly forgot to leave my name! how unprofessional of me. hee and thanks to all my frens who encouraged me!!!!

hmm i was really quite disappointed with my maths results though i expected it to turn out bad..but owell..after all those effort. and seeing mrs kong's disappointment..ARGH!!!!!!!! if not for that globe thing i think i'd be quite sad today! nevertheless mrs kong was really SO SO encouraging as she's always been..she went thru my mistakes one by one with me and ARGH i really feel like a lump of shit now. like she did that with me the last test and the last test and the last test too! i'm so thankful for a maths teacher like her but sob. ok time for dinner and then chionging for tmr's econs test. not going to let xiao ngin down too. which i probably will but owell try to savage whatever i can! =)

and may i wonder how heartless and selfish and inhumane can they get?!?!!?!? HOW CAN THEY hold children hostage with the full intention of killing them all?!?! and not to mention a whole SCHOOL of children!!!! and what about the teachers in there too? and the little children's parents living in terror tonight?? FREAK!!!! WTH!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope they'll be condemned for the rest of their lives and if they EVER kill ONE kid, may they burn in hell forever! arghargh what's wrong with their brains?!?!?!?!? and have they no conscience!??!!? argh!!! lord bless the children..

oh and we watched this rather heartwrenching video during geog today bout the 3 gorges dam of china. 13 cities, hundreds of towns and thousands of villages are going to be submerged and i feel so so so sad for all of those! some of the villages date back hundreds of years and imagine the culture and heritage that'll be lost! sigh i'd be really heartbroken if i were them. i can't bear to let everything that my ancestors have built and everything about that village that everyone is so proud of go down with the water. sigh could really feel their sadness and reluctance. and those houses that the govt promised to resettle them in..they look so LIFELESS and run down and i swear that the villages look 239847million times better! and the garden that they promised seem nonexistant. and even if they were, it's a sad garden. argh so wasted!! their lives are really going to change in the next five years, unfortunately for the worse. =(
owell but i guess saving the millions of lives that would otherwise be lost is important too. lose some gain some.. just that it's simply such a big big waste. i hope the dam will stay strong forever and protect the lives of the Chinese:)

Thursday, September 02, 2004

one new discovery of the day I DONT HAVE A FAX MACHINE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!! haha so i have been living under the illusion that i have a fax machine for a year. zhaoxin asked me to fax her some work and after so many smses and postponing of the faxing, i discover i dont even have a fax machine.

and i'm so super ashamed of myself now. yesterday on my way home i sat beside an arabian/indian man who conversed in hokkien SO fluently!! and then he offered his seat to a mother in excellent english! yeah and the little me who sat beside him cannot even UNDERSTAND 99% of what he was saying when it's my own dialect! time to crash my head somewhere.

kk save me i'm freakin out. very soon the no. of days to promos will be countable with my fingers and toes!!!!!! aaaaaahhhhhhhh i can happily dream about any S paper. WAKEUPWAKEUP do you want to be PROMOTED TO J2 OR NOT?!?!?!!!!!!!!?! hai there's trg tmr..good thing perhaps..shall have a nice shower in school and then study into the night there. my brains seem to function better within the school premises. home is where it rests, isnt it? hee i love coming home and doing nothing important. slouch in my bed, read something, or write something in my diary, nice music and go to sleep. prefably a dreamless one:) yep perfect. k so that shall be it for tomorrow! wheeee hahahh =D

hmm k beck i hope i can keep to my word!!!! and i wont chicken out or something!!! hahahhah the more i think of it the more AHEM it seems so i shan't think about it anymore! hee. treat me to icecream if i do it k??? okie! set. hahhahah luv u!

hai sobsob i'm like back to square 1 again!! it really stinks u noeee. sigh i know i'll never have it..what to do? haha owell time to return to maths remedial work! gdnite everyone!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

i feel so much better today! after the rather dreadful couple of weeks:) hee coz today's teachers' day! no lessons!! and tmr's a HOLIDAY!! hahhah this time, i think i do welcome this break. need it badly actually. went back to ny and got to chat with some teachers! ms ong got the MOST CARING TEACHER AWARD!!!! and there's no other teacher in this world that deserves it more than she does! she's one of my greatest blessings! i'm thankful our paths did cross as teacher n student she's been such an inspiration. i miss her lessons terribly! i'd always looked forward to english or lit lessons most coz they were all so spirit-lifting and also really relaxing! she hardly teaches anything from the texts and i think the number of compres we went through in class the entire year can be counted with all my fingers and toes! but our class STILL did well for language! on top of that, all of us graduated with lessons far more valuable than compres and compos. she really made my life so much more beautiful:) owell perhaps she hadn't touched the lives of every student of hers, but for those that she had, there couldn't be a bigger thank-you!

okiedokie! today i feel really blessed and happy and loved!

Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as i have treated them today
-unknown

Monday, August 30, 2004

oh dear im feeling rather lost right now..too many things swirling in my puny brain. distractions distractions i hate them yet i welcome them. hmm wonder what's with this rather big change.. big coz it's even noticeable to my unobservant eye. since when did the textbooks ever got the smell the top rung of my ladder? i'd always been able to convince myself that it's not at all true that your academic achievement will steer your future. that's how i got away with all the pressure and stress from school. but the blessed me have been lucky and sailed thru all my crucial exams with good grades. yeah and all these blessings will run out coz no matter how hard you pray, miracles wont happen if you dont want it bad enough. and how much u want it is reflected by how hard u've worked for it. but sigh the honest truth's that studying makes me unhappy and i've always been trying to run away from it. i hate stress and i hate stress and i hate stress. but now i can't run away from it coz it's hit me right in the eye that yes that piece of paper DOES matter. it's not true that if you dont get a degree you'll be a failure in life but neither is it true that it doesnt play a significant role in a good future. why make yourself suffer so much because of your horrible attitude in your youth. it's not as though i wasn't given the chance at education, in fact i was given such a GOOD chance. but it slipped past coz i hated stress and i tried to run away from it! through the years i've sought comfort in the finer things of life, appreciating all of His gifts, receiving joy and taking pride in them. but then again, i've got to face reality. it's not true that it'll kill whatever i've grown to love about this world coz everything's up to myself! but it's not goin to be easy...now that i can't runaway anymore..dont be like Godfrey..seeking comfort in Chance which even myself thought him downright stupid while reading the lit text. i've just got to learn to face it and learn to love it the same way i've learnt to love everything else. afterall, this chance is a gift and dont i seek joy in all of His gifts?
hmm i dont really like this blogger thing. miss my easyjournal!! i guess i'll be moving BACK! sounds super retarded.

oh wells..been an extremely tiring week. EXTREMELY tiring.. and i'm EXTREMELY TIRED. a result of trying to clear all my owed homework while being bogged down by new ones. and it's been disappointment after disappointment. SO many disappointments this week :( all kinds too. guess i no longer see things as lightly as i used to and not care about things like my work or my results coz now, i honestly care and i DO worry. and it's an entirely different thing when i dont put in effort and dont do well and i DO put in effort and STILL dont do well. it just stinks. the to make it worse, i can just imagine my maths teacher's face when she's marks my paper this weekend. maybe she's marking it right now!! oh MAN that's the worst part. i'd promised her i'd work harder and I SWEAR I HONESTLY DID! i did all my tutorials and assignments NO COPYING AT ALL! but just WHY didnt it all work out properly during the test?!?!?!! my mind was a real blank. like everything was so familiar yet i had no idea what to do! and everything else too! all those lit assignments that i'd put so much effort in, and the geog test that i really studied for.. guess i must have gone wrong somewhere. everybody learns by making mistakes and i understand that and i'll work harder but it's still rather disheartening.. guess i'll just remember that there's a reason why we're given disappointments. so that when we achieve, the success is sweeter.

sometimes things that i go out of my way to do dont always go appreciated.. although the joy's in it's kindness and thoughtfulness, it'd just be nice to receive a sincere thank you or knowing that the person has paid it forward and extended that warmth to someone else. ah perhaps i expect too much.. but then again it's not like i expect to get something in return for what i do. sigh such a disappointing week it has turned out to be=( hopefully next week it'll get better! it's the last week of the term!! how time flies... soon we'll be leaving the campus i've grown to love so much and our seniors would graduate (no more globe!!sob). i guess the saddest part's leaving mount sinai. what's so bad about our campus!! i have NOTHING to complain about it!! i hope the new site wouldn't be too empty and sterile and souless. ohwell..gotta say farewell to the railway track..and that beautiful second field. i'll never get to see the fallen red petals all over the grass again. coz the next time the flowers are in bloom, i'll be over at bishan.

Friday, August 27, 2004

I love being alive and will be the best man I possibly can. I will take love wherever i find it and offer it to everybody who will take it. I will seek knowledge from those wiser and teacher those who wishto learn from me.

-Duane Allman

Thursday, August 26, 2004

At You Feet

At Your side I find joy
At Your side I find my peace
At Your side I find a purpose
At Your side You meet my needs

I have run so far ahead
Fallen way too far behind
But I belong at Your side

At Your feet I find rest
At Your feet I find my peace
At Your feet I find forgiveness
At Your feet You meet my needs

I've wandered every crooked path
A better road I thought was sweet
But I belong at Your feet

In Your arms I find comfort
In Your arms I find my peace
In Your arms I find a tender
Holy love to meet my needs

I have sought a stranger's care
And a liar's fading charms
But i belong in Your arms
Oh I belong in Your arms...

OCS!

today's trip to the OCS (Officer Cadet School)was real good! i was dreading the trip for days and jia was so right! at the end of it i didnt want to leave!! and i'm SO inspired to join the army!!! i know i am a girl but so what girls can join too. hee but yea i doubt i will laaaa.. one month of those things are fine but i think two years is kindaf uh..long. hahah nevertheless, i think very highly of our soldiers now! great young men:) today's trip was so enjoyable pretty much because of very informative and entertaining cadets that brought us around and showed us bits of their army life! hahahha no wonder the OCS is the scholars' wing..all of them were SO good in their presentations of whatever they were in charge of! and today i held a gun for the first time in my life!!!!! hee a 10 over kg one summore! and i tried carrying the 16.5kg recoilless thing that was damn huge!! omg and the entire place is like a RESORT!! especially their 'happy-hour' place..very spacious and bar-like :) hahaha i was very much reminded of OBS! like a two-year OBS course hahahh

owellsss i'm tired i'm tired i'm so so tired!! and i have a maths test to face tmr....and preparation's zero at the moment.hee.

oh yesterday i went for a run at 8 plus round the school track:) it's a very different feeling running in the dark with the wind. and now my leg muscles are in a horrible condition. the worst i've ever gotten this year not counting the aftermath of the SAJC x-country. hmm and plus the 1hr15mins standing i did at the underpass near buona vista mrt station. i talked to the man there busking for that long. hee but he played me so many nice songs..and he's really an amazing man to talk to:) stressed spelt the other way - desserts!! hahahh so never feel stressed! he said we must live our lives humbled and ego = Edging God Out!

hmm ok i hope i have the strength to last through the night mugging maths. good luck!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

splendid day=)

I AM SOOOO TIRED BUT I AM VERYYYY HAPPY!!!! welllll many things made my day today=)
first, i did myself proud and i MUST give myself credit for finishing TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO ESSAYS in school today!!!!!! hahhahh i was really surprised i finished my Othello essay so fast! though i still overshot the time limit. my other PC essay was WORSE. i spent two hours plus on it when i'm supposed to finish it in an hr and a half!! but WHO CARES i've finished it!!!! and it's ONLY ONE DAY LATE!!!!!! hahaaha actually u can say i was on time just that the staff room was already locked so i couldn't place my assignment on mrs perry's table! AND i actually began to enjoy the prac crit essay half way through it! it's like once you've started writing and got the hang of it, you just begin to spot more and more points and each time you spot one you feel sooo good! like hey, i'm quite smart afterall! mwahaha =) i've learnt something today. no essay's ever too tough once u force yourself to get down to writing your first paragraph! it just flowsssss and flowsssss k i hope i'll do well for my PC essay coz it's really lots of effort in there!!
actually this was the main thing that made me so happy today:) especially after all my short concentration spans these few weeks and my piled up homework, clearing them and clearing quite a considerable amt in a few hours. for once, i have the discipline to sit through my work and FINISH them. though i still have lots of work owed, it's definately in a better state than yesterday!

hmm and i had a lovely time after my work with miche. joined her at the benches near the council room. she was doing her QT and i was just enjoying the night sky and her jars of clay cd :) we saw an aeroplane flying high up there through the clouds! hahahha seeing things like that make you smile. for no reason. both of us looked rather silly smiling at the sky but it was sweet~* took a stroll around the track. so lovely at night.. and u noe wad the green area near the train track really looks like the forbidden area in The Village!!!! omg i bet they got their inspiration from rj! hahahh had a CUTE dinner with her and she so kindly offered to lend me her discman for a day!! hahhah SO HAPPY!!! thus, i thoroughly enjoyed my journey home. thanks miche! -grin-

oh and not to forget, i did my special thing for the weekend!!i wrote a letter to a friend that i usually wouldn't think of writing to! hee i hope it was a pleasant surprise. it's always one for me:)
but i got so worried that some prankster would take the letter away from the locker coz i just slotted the letter half way betw the lockers. ohwell thankfully no one was so cheeky to do that:)

yup and on my way home there was an elderly couple sitting on a bench at my void deck with their grandaughter and the grandma was tying her hair! so sweet:) hee i hope i'll do that when i grow old too..tying my grandaughter's hair while talkin to my husband by my side!

ok i'm so supremely tired. i can't find my gp compre to do either!! ithink it's in school :( looks like i gotta rush it tmr. ok i WILL have the discipline i had today tmr as well and FINISH it. not to forget the upcoming maths test =S

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