Jesus

it's really timely that when i entered this bible study course, they happened to be doing the last few chapters of the book of John. i was pouring through my journal, and it hit me that over the past couple of months, God's been answering a prayer I made late last year, and i even remember thinking about it when i was in India. it was about this huge problem i had with by-passing the cross, like my whole faith seemed to be based on emotions... which was dangerous because that cannot be the basis of going to God. i struggled with it because i simply couldn't grasp the reality of Christ's sacrifice. it just remained as one of those important biblical nuggets in my head that i knew i should know. when i was honest enough, i knew that i actually never understood the immensity of His dying for us and accepted Jesus as a doubtless truth.

bringing me step by step to fill that dangerous void was what God did through the last two months of bible study. i am truly awed by the kind of person Jesus is.. the compassion He has is so gripping it's inhuman. over the past 2-3 weeks, we've been dwelling on John 19, walking through the most important milestone in human history, pouring through the reasons, meanings, the spiritual symbolism behind every detail, seeing all that Jesus did till the very end, the fulfillment of many prophecies, the consistencies that string the bible together, the evidences, making sense of and piecing the whole process of Jesus' crucifixion together for myself... and i finally saw God's heart behind everything that happened.

i don't even know how to begin describing what my response is. :P i guess when i truly know who i worship and why... it does a lot of change to the reason i breathe and live everyday.