Scribbles at the back of a car

As I grow older, my consciousness is scattered across different worlds, belonging to them all at the same time. It felt a little like that when I stepped into India. Tonight, arriving in Kedah was like a seamless stroll into a street across. It really feels like home; it feels light to be back. :) When I was a younger girl, flying one and a half hours up north was the equivalent of one bag of nerves on an annual pilgrimage into another dimension - filled with familiar faces of unfamiliar people speaking a gibberish dialect that faded into my background. Apparently, the two stark worlds have merged. Perhaps I've been traveling to Malaysia so often that it is no longer out of the ordinary, and unfamiliar lives have finally turned into loved ones.

It's a pretty long journey from the airport to my grandparents'. The elder brothers in the front chat intermittently, in between comfortable silences. I was resting on my mom, my head trying to catch her shoulder as the car sped and bumped across highway after highway. I secretly right-clicked and saved the moment as a morbid thought scampered across my mind. One day in the future, I'd never get to do this again, and I'd want to remember how her voice sounds like through the hollow of her back. It's really strange how fear can be love's favourite shadow, and I suppose that is partly why people say life is bittersweet! Sentences were beginning to form in my thoughts. Unable to sleep nor dig for my journal, I opened my laptop and here I am typing them out as we race down an empty night road, rows of shophouses half lit and silently cheering our homecoming party.

Anyone who knows me well enough will know that I have the nose of a dog. Before I can swing the car door open, I'm already flung into the welcoming aroma of the night air in this particular part of town. It is distinct, crisp, warm and lightly scented with Chinese ointment. Woo hoo! My grandpa's all ready and grinning at the gate in his stripped pajamas. Hahaha. Time to shut my lappie. Happy CNY everyone!