It's getting really frustrating all these lousy bacterial stuffs on my legs!! !@#%@$ it's been hogging my legs for eons and they never seem to want to go away. ARGH!!!!!!!! and other funny things like blisters and acnes pop out at the weirdest places too. i wonder how long more i can be patient about this. I can understand why the doctor doesnt want to give me a steroid jab but the side effects sure beat having to tend to my legs over and over and over and over again day in day out. =( it's draining.
On another note, I was just thinking about second chances yesterday. Most of us would've heard about the yellow ribbon project that helps ex-prisoners get their second chance at life in our society. I guess most of us would see the point. But many of us do not realise that, in fact, there are friends and people so near and around us who need that second chance too! Of course, we can't be entirely blind or over idealistic, but we shldn't be afraid to offer that chance to others because definitely at some point in our own lives, be it a career, or a friendship or a romance, we're going to want that second chance too. We'll never know what anybody is truly capable of until we give them the opportunity to rise to the occasion. I wish the world could be a little less harsh.
btw, I've finally decided that I should check Harry Potter out after all. MY GOSH it's damn good! i really couldn't put the book down and it's bad cos I was Pottering through all my lectures in wk 1. (I'm proud to say tt i paid attention in all my lects this week!) I can't wait to get my hands on the 3rd book (yeayea i'm only at the 2nd one) and if im not wrong the books get thicker and thicker and thicker. AND i'd like to watch all the harry potter shows on dvd too! so much for not bothering about the popular harry potter. and i'm kinda inspired to write a book but i doubt it'll ever happen wahaha.
=)
no good no good i should be reading my course readings!!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
It is sometimes really difficult trying to keep my heart and mind firmly on God's wonderful path of miracles. It sounds so beautiful it seems most logical and natural for anybody to just walk that road. but it is so difficult because it isn't always explicit that it's a walkway of wonder sprinkled with His showers of blessing. Sometimes, in fact, i think most of the time, it is hidden from us because He wants to constantly test our faith and the strength of our trust in him.
These few months have been really trying in every way thought possible. it's not the worst of the worst yet but I've been feeling the strain physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There has been so much tugging and pulling everywhere in every direction that I could've gone bonkers! I have never been this seriously overwhelmed in my life before. Wave upon wave, I could've drowned!
Yet, I just have to say that no matter what we think of Him or of where He is or of what He is doing, we just gotta squeeze our eyes tight, clench our teeth and hang on so tight to Him with a death grip. no matter how huge the carrots dangled in front of our hungry faces are, it is comforting to remember that He'll never let us be tempted beyond what we can bear.
All in all, the biggest lesson that God has been teaching me these past months is to have patience and be still. Wait and He will answer. This is what He's been yelling out to me in every corner of my life! and I am immensely grateful that even though everything is really really so difficult and trying, He is still holding on to me and teaching me imperishable and hard-earned qualities like patience and humility.
These few months have been really trying in every way thought possible. it's not the worst of the worst yet but I've been feeling the strain physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There has been so much tugging and pulling everywhere in every direction that I could've gone bonkers! I have never been this seriously overwhelmed in my life before. Wave upon wave, I could've drowned!
Yet, I just have to say that no matter what we think of Him or of where He is or of what He is doing, we just gotta squeeze our eyes tight, clench our teeth and hang on so tight to Him with a death grip. no matter how huge the carrots dangled in front of our hungry faces are, it is comforting to remember that He'll never let us be tempted beyond what we can bear.
All in all, the biggest lesson that God has been teaching me these past months is to have patience and be still. Wait and He will answer. This is what He's been yelling out to me in every corner of my life! and I am immensely grateful that even though everything is really really so difficult and trying, He is still holding on to me and teaching me imperishable and hard-earned qualities like patience and humility.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Faith
haha I was just wondering this afternoon how I would define faith. and just earlier i was taken to a verse in the bible:)
Hebrews 11:1
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.
haha so simple. yeap just like that. simple but so crucial
I remember late last year, a friend i were discussing faith and he said he couldn't understand the faith of christians in a God that we cannot even see or know for sure exists (not true!), and he said that faith is just an excuse. but all of us exercise faith in our own ways. the fact that we are planning activities and looking forward to things that we can do in the future - that alone already requires faith, the belief that we will even be alive so that all of those could happen, isnt it?
love out
tiann~
Hebrews 11:1
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.
haha so simple. yeap just like that. simple but so crucial
I remember late last year, a friend i were discussing faith and he said he couldn't understand the faith of christians in a God that we cannot even see or know for sure exists (not true!), and he said that faith is just an excuse. but all of us exercise faith in our own ways. the fact that we are planning activities and looking forward to things that we can do in the future - that alone already requires faith, the belief that we will even be alive so that all of those could happen, isnt it?
love out
tiann~
Thursday, April 26, 2007
bubblegum n prayers
i like today's rbc dailybread that likened his quarter that could buy him his favourite bubblegum from the machine to our prayers that releases the vast resources of God's blessings and character.
it is so true. there was a time when my prayers were not earnest and gradually i barely prayed. i felt so dry and i could literally feel Him closing the doors of His vast resources on me. anw i jus wanna say that prayer is so important! so so so important!
here are some lyrics from the song "My Desire".
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king
You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king
I've sung this song a zillion times in church but never before had the lyrics glared at me the way it did today. It's always like that because God knows exactly when He wants to tell this to me; exactly when it would mean the way He wants it to mean to me. I know that lately He's trying to teach me to let go of myself. I'm trying too hard on my own at everything and I'm too stubborn to quit trying so hard. Even when I think I'm laying it down before Him, I'm actually not. It is so much more difficult than I had imagined it to be. I thought that if I were willing, it would come naturally. but I'm way more stubborn than that. Like shu said, it is something that we have to learn to do over and over again.
"The thistles of self-interest grow naturally within me, while the fruit that pleases God requires constant weeding and watering through prayer, confession, and obedience to the Lord. Without these, the soil of my heart will become choked with the thorns of trivial pursuits and greed.
'Keep your heart with all diligence,' Solomon wrote, 'for out of it spring the issues of life'"
it is so true. there was a time when my prayers were not earnest and gradually i barely prayed. i felt so dry and i could literally feel Him closing the doors of His vast resources on me. anw i jus wanna say that prayer is so important! so so so important!
here are some lyrics from the song "My Desire".
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king
You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king
I've sung this song a zillion times in church but never before had the lyrics glared at me the way it did today. It's always like that because God knows exactly when He wants to tell this to me; exactly when it would mean the way He wants it to mean to me. I know that lately He's trying to teach me to let go of myself. I'm trying too hard on my own at everything and I'm too stubborn to quit trying so hard. Even when I think I'm laying it down before Him, I'm actually not. It is so much more difficult than I had imagined it to be. I thought that if I were willing, it would come naturally. but I'm way more stubborn than that. Like shu said, it is something that we have to learn to do over and over again.
"The thistles of self-interest grow naturally within me, while the fruit that pleases God requires constant weeding and watering through prayer, confession, and obedience to the Lord. Without these, the soil of my heart will become choked with the thorns of trivial pursuits and greed.
'Keep your heart with all diligence,' Solomon wrote, 'for out of it spring the issues of life'"
Monday, March 26, 2007
i had the best tutorial i've ever attended this semester earlier! it was a human geography tutorial and we were discussing migration and globalization. and despite me being so terribly sleepy, i thoroughly enjoyed every moment that monica brought the class through. what struck me hardest was the video about sri lankan maids in lebanon. it's pretty much similar to philippino maids in singapore. audio visual is always the best way to grab and tug at the strings of other people's hearts because it is so raw and real.
so we were talking about migrant workers in singapore and the difficulties they face and stuff like that. and a classmate mentioned that in some condos in singapore, they dont allow the maids to use the lifts provided they are accompanied by their employers, and most condos do not allow domestic workers to use the pool. i just thought it seemed very discriminatory, but i guess they would have their valid reasons. the lift thing is very ridiculous though.
i love the way monica did the tutorial. it was so relaxed yet fruitful and she's so easygoing and cool! she did research or journalist work in Lebanon and the middle eastern area and she was there during the war, interviewing all kinds of people there and stuff.
and there was something she mentioned that i'd never thought about before. when she first came to singapore, she was puzzled why we were so strict about the safety belt rule.. like in the cab there's this announcement thing tt tells u to fasten ur seatbelt. but when you look out of the window, there they are foreign workers piled up onto the back of a truck speeding down the expresslanes. she thought they were rather objectified, like equipments getting transported arnd. and i think it tells a lot too. so we only bother about and protect our own people and our safety precautions don't apply to them? so it is only when they commit crimes that our law is applicable. and then we discriminate them because we think they are dirty and unlawful.
she also talked about the grass cutters who carry the machines and wear the sign "danger keep out" on their backs. also pretty objectifying. and nobody notices them at all. it is as though they're just part of the machines cutting our grass. now that i think about it.. i think most of us, me included, take their work as a use-discard-rebuy thing. it is time to change that and show some appreciation to our unsung heroes. our group said that we shld have a domestic workers day and it really got me wondering why, when we are so dependent on their efforts, do we not have such a day to honour their work!
anw, my first year is coming to an end pretty soon and i'm so sad i dont want it to end. the first of everything is usually the best because there isnt anything to compare it to, and more importantly special because every single moment and experience was so very fresh!
so we were talking about migrant workers in singapore and the difficulties they face and stuff like that. and a classmate mentioned that in some condos in singapore, they dont allow the maids to use the lifts provided they are accompanied by their employers, and most condos do not allow domestic workers to use the pool. i just thought it seemed very discriminatory, but i guess they would have their valid reasons. the lift thing is very ridiculous though.
i love the way monica did the tutorial. it was so relaxed yet fruitful and she's so easygoing and cool! she did research or journalist work in Lebanon and the middle eastern area and she was there during the war, interviewing all kinds of people there and stuff.
and there was something she mentioned that i'd never thought about before. when she first came to singapore, she was puzzled why we were so strict about the safety belt rule.. like in the cab there's this announcement thing tt tells u to fasten ur seatbelt. but when you look out of the window, there they are foreign workers piled up onto the back of a truck speeding down the expresslanes. she thought they were rather objectified, like equipments getting transported arnd. and i think it tells a lot too. so we only bother about and protect our own people and our safety precautions don't apply to them? so it is only when they commit crimes that our law is applicable. and then we discriminate them because we think they are dirty and unlawful.
she also talked about the grass cutters who carry the machines and wear the sign "danger keep out" on their backs. also pretty objectifying. and nobody notices them at all. it is as though they're just part of the machines cutting our grass. now that i think about it.. i think most of us, me included, take their work as a use-discard-rebuy thing. it is time to change that and show some appreciation to our unsung heroes. our group said that we shld have a domestic workers day and it really got me wondering why, when we are so dependent on their efforts, do we not have such a day to honour their work!
anw, my first year is coming to an end pretty soon and i'm so sad i dont want it to end. the first of everything is usually the best because there isnt anything to compare it to, and more importantly special because every single moment and experience was so very fresh!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
hmm.. i'm glad i chose to continue to play touch this sem in school =) it isn't as bad as i thought it would be.. i thought i'd be really trying to survive and get by trainings, but it's actually quite fun and more challenging now with the coach cos he really teaches us things and im learning lots of new stuffs. it's really so different from trg for ihg.
haha k toodles~~
I NEED SLEEP..zzzZZzzzz....zz.zz.zzz.z.z.zzz....
haha k toodles~~
I NEED SLEEP..zzzZZzzzz....zz.zz.zzz.z.z.zzz....
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Life Is....
by Mother Teresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
by Mother Teresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I dont dare to sleep on my bed.. i think there are bedbugs on it even though i just changed the sheets. they've been feasting on my legs man and it's horribly itchy and one of em bites is secreting weird stuff. argh i dun wanna slp.. n there are too many things on my mind at the moment.. my mind is neither here nor at home.
i really need to get a job, and this time i really need to! the last time I'd thought i'd like to try getting one.. well it led to nowhere. but given the current circumstance, it's necessary and urgent.
i think it kinda answers my dilemna to whether or not i should be continuing ivp touch. we had a team talk and meeting this evening, and I'm glad issues were raised and the team is going to make an effort to train and play like a team. i think it's not very important whether we win or not. It's more important to leave the competition having fought as a team. If we do win, we gotta win it as a team, or else it's just as good as nothing. I felt very encouraged to stay on, but I really cannot bring myself to commit to the trainings. I know i'd be missing out a lot not participating in this year's league, but i guess i gotta give and take. there's still next year i hope..
anw earlier during the expedition session we discussed the difference between community work and service learning(which we will be doing). it has never struck me that the focus of service learning was that much about ourselves and taking from society. i guess it's a whole new perspective of learning from community work. i think i did service learning in secondary school before but it wasn't anything like that. i thought it was a little selfish, this whole idea of taking more than giving. but on the other hand, it's a pretty good alternative way to discovering ourselves and the way we interact and reciprocate. tt's the word we were suppose to ponder upon haha.
sometimes i kinda wish i were still on the projects team cos i'd wanted so much to work on the programming! i was thinking of stuffs like taking them on a virtual tour around the world. i think that would really open the eyes of the children and inspire them to learn and embrace the limitless marvels the world has to offer. but who says we can't contribute just because we're not in the proj comm? hahah i think everybody's open to ideas huh =)
tmr i'd be collecting my new hamster from chen yong =) very excited! haha i told my friends i felt like a pregnant mother preparing a baby room for my baby! i know it's JUST a hamster but pls forgive me, this is my first time keeping a pet! and the thought of a life entrusted to me seems like a pretty big responsbility! I havnet seen the hamster yet but i'm ready to love it with all my might! it's a very different feeling from owning a new handphone or something like tt cos this thing is kicking with life that God has breathed into him! haha okay im overhyped.. heh. i needa check out hannah's baby too!
toodles.. i shld shut my eyes and forget about the bedbugs..
i really need to get a job, and this time i really need to! the last time I'd thought i'd like to try getting one.. well it led to nowhere. but given the current circumstance, it's necessary and urgent.
i think it kinda answers my dilemna to whether or not i should be continuing ivp touch. we had a team talk and meeting this evening, and I'm glad issues were raised and the team is going to make an effort to train and play like a team. i think it's not very important whether we win or not. It's more important to leave the competition having fought as a team. If we do win, we gotta win it as a team, or else it's just as good as nothing. I felt very encouraged to stay on, but I really cannot bring myself to commit to the trainings. I know i'd be missing out a lot not participating in this year's league, but i guess i gotta give and take. there's still next year i hope..
anw earlier during the expedition session we discussed the difference between community work and service learning(which we will be doing). it has never struck me that the focus of service learning was that much about ourselves and taking from society. i guess it's a whole new perspective of learning from community work. i think i did service learning in secondary school before but it wasn't anything like that. i thought it was a little selfish, this whole idea of taking more than giving. but on the other hand, it's a pretty good alternative way to discovering ourselves and the way we interact and reciprocate. tt's the word we were suppose to ponder upon haha.
sometimes i kinda wish i were still on the projects team cos i'd wanted so much to work on the programming! i was thinking of stuffs like taking them on a virtual tour around the world. i think that would really open the eyes of the children and inspire them to learn and embrace the limitless marvels the world has to offer. but who says we can't contribute just because we're not in the proj comm? hahah i think everybody's open to ideas huh =)
tmr i'd be collecting my new hamster from chen yong =) very excited! haha i told my friends i felt like a pregnant mother preparing a baby room for my baby! i know it's JUST a hamster but pls forgive me, this is my first time keeping a pet! and the thought of a life entrusted to me seems like a pretty big responsbility! I havnet seen the hamster yet but i'm ready to love it with all my might! it's a very different feeling from owning a new handphone or something like tt cos this thing is kicking with life that God has breathed into him! haha okay im overhyped.. heh. i needa check out hannah's baby too!
toodles.. i shld shut my eyes and forget about the bedbugs..
Monday, January 15, 2007
feeling really dreadful now... i cant find the mac office installer pack =( i havent given up yet! it's v expensive and i shared it with two other friends.
well o well the sem is goin to begin full blown v soon, and i'm hardly rested. im excited yet so tired. i guess uncle D is right, i ought to check my load of activities. im suffering from insomnia too! definitely not helping.
this sem's modules definitely look promisingly more interesting than my last sem's. i thoroughly enjoyed my last semester even tho the modules were terrible cos i had great project groups to work with. it's always a risk i know, but i think it's worth the risk to work with classmates u've never met before. it's much more challenging because it forces us to step up and out! different people bring out different sides of our personality and minds, so new groupmates, good or lazy ones, show us stuff we never knew we had!
im glad i took the se mods! the lecturers seem very fun and the group of TAs are a cosmo group from all over e world. i hope i get the guy who is studying cemeteries and space! hahah i wanna read his paper. there's this sea summer sch in july too that im v interested in, but of course there are constrains.. like the usual $$ and i should be working. well, if there's something God wants me to do in there, we'll figure a way to the summer sch together!
im in a dilemna now.. i dont know if i should continue going for ivp touch. doesnt seem to be getting anywhere, dreading trainings.. this shouldnt be the way. ive been prayin for a direction, but it's only gotten worse. i'd actually decided to discontinue, and then jus work towards a good half-marathon at the end of the year. but after jess talked to me, there's surprisingly much more than what there seems to be. besides, there arent many juniors left after the snrs graduate. so should i stay and do my best to make a difference?
it's been rather rough at home too.. my parents, their business and many other matters. above all, i'm grateful that the Lord kept us together. i wonder if i'd be angry with Him if he hadn't. pastor always reminds us that we were born into our respective families for a purpose. i'm seeing it and i know that He's using me in my family. it's going to be very difficult, but i cant wait to see it when He's glorified through my family.. i'm serious. I know that unwavering faith and obedience from love is the key, and I really want to keep it going.
love out to all!
well o well the sem is goin to begin full blown v soon, and i'm hardly rested. im excited yet so tired. i guess uncle D is right, i ought to check my load of activities. im suffering from insomnia too! definitely not helping.
this sem's modules definitely look promisingly more interesting than my last sem's. i thoroughly enjoyed my last semester even tho the modules were terrible cos i had great project groups to work with. it's always a risk i know, but i think it's worth the risk to work with classmates u've never met before. it's much more challenging because it forces us to step up and out! different people bring out different sides of our personality and minds, so new groupmates, good or lazy ones, show us stuff we never knew we had!
im glad i took the se mods! the lecturers seem very fun and the group of TAs are a cosmo group from all over e world. i hope i get the guy who is studying cemeteries and space! hahah i wanna read his paper. there's this sea summer sch in july too that im v interested in, but of course there are constrains.. like the usual $$ and i should be working. well, if there's something God wants me to do in there, we'll figure a way to the summer sch together!
im in a dilemna now.. i dont know if i should continue going for ivp touch. doesnt seem to be getting anywhere, dreading trainings.. this shouldnt be the way. ive been prayin for a direction, but it's only gotten worse. i'd actually decided to discontinue, and then jus work towards a good half-marathon at the end of the year. but after jess talked to me, there's surprisingly much more than what there seems to be. besides, there arent many juniors left after the snrs graduate. so should i stay and do my best to make a difference?
it's been rather rough at home too.. my parents, their business and many other matters. above all, i'm grateful that the Lord kept us together. i wonder if i'd be angry with Him if he hadn't. pastor always reminds us that we were born into our respective families for a purpose. i'm seeing it and i know that He's using me in my family. it's going to be very difficult, but i cant wait to see it when He's glorified through my family.. i'm serious. I know that unwavering faith and obedience from love is the key, and I really want to keep it going.
love out to all!
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