yoohoo...
wah ive been very busy :) having good fun hahah the best fun was at Warren! wheee....
right after the As ended i thought i was super bored with nothing to do la.. now all the activities start piling in and i cannot cope alreadeee i want to go for everythign but everything is clashing.. alibabaaaa. aahhahh.
ive got an interview coming up at 3 later... i hope i'll get the job! i really want it (i mean i really really NEED THE CASH)! haha it's a waitressing job at the jacks place outlet in orchard. that place's tough training, demanding customers (i saw one myself :S), the staff say they cry everyday haha. so it's good for me! and ive met some of the staff there they're really nice and warm.. though i know they'll prob start yelling at me IF and when i start working there. it's quite hard to get i heard :S gahh... praypray pleeeease God let me have the job!

hmm ive finally started exercising!! FINALLY FINALLY! omgosh i feel so alive now... hahah :) i shoulnd't have been so lazy during the exams period.. what a difference it'd have made.

alrightee so here's to an extremely busy week ahead and the week after with a lot of things to do n a lot of fun, and also to an extremely busy mind and heart with a lot of things going on in there that i have to sort out "(

so when you dont understand
when you don't see his plan
when you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart

ooh, so he's Collin Raye.. i finally know who the singer is. i've been playing his album thru out my examination period but i didnt know who the singer was cos it's a burnt cd..shhh.. hahah a friend gave it to me and i couldnt remember WHICH friend gave it to me too.. but now i think i can recall who it was.

i figure i'm an extremely lazy bum.. i HATE travelling now...WHYWHYWHY. as in im even too lazy to travel from one end of the island to the other. this is not good at all.... i used to enjoy spending half my day on the train or something hahah. i enjoyed train rides when they werent underground. the best was in the bright morning sunshine when i used to travel an hour to get to church. ooh lala i didnt mind that at all man. and i became so pro i could identify where i was WHEREVER the train was travelling. i could even tell i was halfway thru which stop and which stop. i think ive probably forgotten everything. underground trainrides just SUCK the life out of you and i always stumble out of the train with zero ounce of energy left when all i did was sit in there.

anw my mom's such a awepoifampoweifj!!!! i bet she's attempting to cut off my money supply asap. so that i'll get a job, not that i didnt intend to already. but she's BREATHING down my neck! and the moment i get a job byebyeeeee man i'm on my own. one day if i have no work i will have no money.

hmm so i'm really free now and i'm feeling very lost hahah i dont know what's best to do.. actually i do know hahah. i wish i didnt have to go for prom it's a waste of money and my time and my brain juices... the only good part is i get to see what ritz carlton is like, ive never stepped in there before. but then again you dont need a prom to make you step into ritz carlton. or do you? haha i dont think it's THAAAT high end right. and neither do you need a prom to spend time with your classmates and friends.. grrrrr... i could've used that money to go on a trip to tioman island instead. but since im already going i can might as well make the best out of it:)

striking a balance is really difficult. i just want to learn to spread my wings on my own and learn, REALLY learn for all learning's worth. and you know how they always say do what your heart wants, live for yourself and not for other people. but i cant deny that my parents' age and experiences are there for a reason. argh sometimes they're just so logical they make me feel stupid. what they want for me is NOT at all what i want for myself. but what they think i should be doing makes sense too.. i mean surviving in this world and learning things that are right and actually useful is important.. of course it's good to learn and learn but you gotta make sure you learn the things that you HAVE to know. so HOW what am i supposed to choose? the only thing i can think of right now is to just do everything.

I LOOK LIKE A BROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHGGHGHGHGH
I'M SO ANGRY :
STUPID HAIR :(

happy birthday!

thank you all! haha it was a lovely birthday i had :)
this is celebrating the 18 years of life that God has breathed into me; 18 years of being by my side whether i knew it or not; 18 years of love He's given me and love that my family and friends have given me too! :) wheee..
it is always great to be loved cos only loved people know how to love, rite? haha. and it's also great to have family and friends to celebrate my birthday with cos they are after all part of the 18 years that i'm celebrating! hahah thank you to everybody who remembered and even if you didnt remember, thank you also cos you've made a difference to my life, small or big, for better or for worse it doesnt matter, you just did and that counts! hahaha :D cheers!!

i think being able to view the evening city skyline everyday from my home is irreplaceable.. it's been getting more and more gorgeous lately.. hehe the perks of staying high high up. :)

hehe this is so excitinggggg.... can you feel the vibe??? mwahah exams are really really really reaaaaaaaaallly ending! ONE more paper only.. hahah. there're so many things i've thought of doing already. and THIS time, i'm going to make sure i do things that are meaningful and are useful and purposeful to myself and to other people. i'm not going to waste my holidays away like the way i did the last time round.. okay la that time wasn't really a waste i learnt some stuff too but it's definately not the best way to spend free time. i've learnt that doing purposeful activities that mean something to myself keeps my brain going and makes my heart happy! as much as i enjoy studying, it doesnt make me truly happy. having a purpose is good, but having a purpose that is meaningful is another thing altogether.
aaahhhh... can you not feel the vibe?!!? i'm dyinggg i cannot waitttt........!!!!
just one more to go.............
God has been extremely gracious.. i dont know if my papers really went well, i'll only find out next March.. but it least He'd let me feel good and alright about them. ya know at least i dont find myself going out of the exam hall knowing that i'm a dead duck, it didnt happen! :) yet. one more paper haha better not happen. whee... God is so graciouss.. He sustains us. He sustains us so that we wake up every morning and feel so alive! and every night when we go to sleep, we trust Him to protect us and care for us as we sleep so that we can wake up again the next morning. dont take it for granted..what if you didn't... hahha well if you didnt' you'd be in heaven anw. nice place too.. haha.

gag.. im currently feeling very frustrated and angry. :( because im feeling very vulnerable. i dont like feeling vulnerable..well nobody does. but the thing is, i'm feeling vulnerable because of other people and i'm not deserving this vulnerable feeling. you know getting me in this position all because of something that i didnt do but something other people did and i dont feel safe.

and i'm feeling vulnerable also because i'm proud, and i hate it when other people know things or find out things that are very personal to me... things that i want to keep between God and myself. maybe i wasn't careful.. maybe i'm assuming things, maybe it is my own fault but it doesnt change the fact that i'm feeling so vulnerable. i dont like it, really. to put it crudely, when other people know about the private and personal parts of your life that they weren't supposed to know of, it feels like you're being raped.

i feel like i'm balancing on teensy beam, goin slow.... a little steady yet a little wobbly. arhghgh. ok but at least i'm still on the beam right? :)

the papers that ive sat for so far have been good yet not quite good. i like the way this is for now. the unknowing feeling..ya noee like you're not sure if you can do well, yet you know there is a chance. because this tests your faith and gives the allowance for God to do some work. yeaaa there is a chance! :D

haha the REAL challenge beings only next week....

on my way home i saw this tree that was blossoming with very pretty pink flowers:) and what was so interesting was that its branches were all soooooooo droopy save for the part where the flowers were.. they curled upward, like a 180degree turn! hahah trees are so vain too they know how to show off their stuffs.. haha probably to attract insects i guess. i wanna find out what tree that is.. there are so many millions of them along that stretch of road.

i guess it was a general agreement that the maths paper was more difficult than previous years..:( with some luck maybe i could still pull a good grade. and we still have paper 2 my favourite ;) and thank God i didnt have to pull any stunts on any geomo questions today haha i barely studied that topic, and i'm even more thankful that it went much much better than how i did my geog papers the past two years. yay praise God!

ya know i like the way this goes.. we're all competing against each other, yet at the same time, we're for each other. how sweet.. we'll never get this ever again once we step out of school. in the real world, this must be very rare even though right now i dont think we really see nor bother about the competition. so i gotta treasure this now :)