shit man the anger is eating at me.

i keep telling myself to wake up and stand up for myself. stop being so nice and let them trample all over you. so what if he cares? he's still hurting you because of his subsequent decisions. i think he doesn't see the pain. because it's not his pain. to him, it's just his guilt. so once i forgive, it's done it's gone. and so he carries on his little friendship.

i think one day my brains will shoot up the roof.

God tells me to lay down my rights. but to what extent? to the extent of becoming blindly stupid? the way things this soap opera is unfolding is disturbing. After all that has happened, how does he have the capacity to rationalize like that? how does he have the capacity to lend her so many excuses? !!???!?!??! I have only one plausible reason: he doesn't know the pain.

God gave discernment as a gift of wisdom for a purpose. The facts are all before your eyes. Nothing much can discount actions. wake up dude!!!!!!!! not everybody is an angel. weren't you always the all-logical guy? If that counts as friendship worth treasuring to you, please don't insult other people's friendship with you.

at some point of time, enough will be enough. there's no point forcing myself to be understanding again and again. i'm reaching my limit soon. very soon.