sigh.. what's the point of all the anger? it's not bringing anybody forward. and i drive myself up my own wall.
so what if who's right or who's wrong? so what if whoever made good or bad decisions? so what if i have the right to be angry? i can't have the whole world the way i think is right. definitely not.. that's very selfish too. we just get through our grime and learn and learn and learn.
i'm reminded of how shu always told me that God does glorious things from the messes we make. not that we chuck them one side and push the responsibility to God, but we learn the hard way from it and also get to see and experience the work of God at the same time.
when i look back at everything, they bring me tears because the memories are good. all that had happened in the past one month can never discount those memories. they are precious and close to my heart.
:)
i've learnt that the questions that i had always been asking were not the important ones.
it is time to wait. all over again.
this time, to wait on the Author of our lives. that was what i'd thought i was doing, but nope. this time, i'm doing it His right way.
hung ever so loosely on my tongue, I've finally FINALLY understood what that means. it's never too late to look at faith in a whole new way.
2 comments:
yes indeed. i have also discovered what does it really mean to wait too. it's not about waiting by our standards, by how we expect things to turn out (coz i realise that previously my waiting was also judged by my own standards)... it's really reallly REALLY about praying and searching for the direction from God. It comes in the oddest of places, from people we may least expect from too. But you will know it is from God.
We all make messes of things, because perhaps from the start we didn't listen to Him, so we suffer the consequences of not listening. But yes, I agree with Shu too, that despite our transgressions, He allows us to grow, and He still waits patiently for us to turn to Him once again.
Don't look at it as waiting. Look at it instead as a break, or say like in a timetable, we all have different subjects to go through and learn from till we reach the prize (which is the end of sch haha!).
I love you, my best friend and sister in Christ! *hugs*
haha that's a very nice analogy. and a very comforting one too :)
love you too.
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