ok i give up trying to fix the thing jus goin to wait for ju to be free to help me.
my mom jus left yesterday morning for another business trip to china, and this time she'll be gone FIVE WEEKS!! that is super freaking long:( i'm already missing her a lot.. i pray that she'll be safe and sound enjoyin herself over there.
it's starting tmr and right now, i'm really scared. which is very weird since this round of exams is not going to affect my future in ANY way whatsoever. but i'm still so scared!
i cannot believe it'll be almost over in a week! that is REALLY fast.. it's going to be one hell of a driven week.
howhow im really scared.... im goin to be needing a lot of strength from Him.
all the best to everybody and please dont be scared stupid like me, cos it doesnt make any sense to be!
ok i think i know why i'm so afraid. although i worked much harder than before, i know this is still not hard enough. and God punishes the lazy who dont work hard enough and hope that He will save them. i think this applies to me.. ):
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
help!!
hi there!
here i am tryin to change my template! haha but im really terrible at this.
does anybody know how to shift the picture and the tagboard column upward??
well..meanwhile hang in there! prelims are almost over! in just one and a half week's time..
and i've sworn not to be discouraged by preliminaries and look towards the A levels!
HERE COMES THE BLACK HORSE!!!!!
here i am tryin to change my template! haha but im really terrible at this.
does anybody know how to shift the picture and the tagboard column upward??
well..meanwhile hang in there! prelims are almost over! in just one and a half week's time..
and i've sworn not to be discouraged by preliminaries and look towards the A levels!
HERE COMES THE BLACK HORSE!!!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
why did the teddy bear cross the road?
"..his head was as bald as the palm of my hand; but his hair in falling seemed to have stuck to his chin, and had prospered in the new locality, for his beard hung down to his waist...and the passion of his life is pigeon-flying."
!!!!! it's said in such a matter of fact manner it's so hilarious! O_O ahhhahah.. imagine strands of grey hair floating down through the air and getting attached magnet-like to his chin, 'prospering in its new locality'. HAHA!
guess which book that came from?
how do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
wheeee i just watched sound of music AGAIN yesterday! i think i can memorize the whole show i've watched it a zillion times my entire life. BUT i can never get tired of it.. it's truly a timeless classic that every family should share! and i like every single song in the show.. i can memorize all of them too!! almost at least... hee.
anw to my horror, i did a little looking up and i discovered that the lead actor, christopher Plummer, DESPISES the show! he called it the sound of mucus.......?!!?? who knows why he starred in it then. but then again it shot him to hollywood fame. anw i'm so disillusioned! how can i watch the show again knowing that capt von trapp actually hates what he's doing. i wish i didnt know.
and....im finally getting curtains! THIS time, i got to choose:) it's orange n yellow with pretty flowers as the motif! i bet it's going to look very cheerful! especially in the morning sun which my room gets APLENTY. ( it's my alarm clock every single morning)
and....my father jus went down to ikea to help me get some shelves for my books! it's goin to go under my window sill.. FINALLY! no more books all over the place
blessings blessings!
:)
!!!!! it's said in such a matter of fact manner it's so hilarious! O_O ahhhahah.. imagine strands of grey hair floating down through the air and getting attached magnet-like to his chin, 'prospering in its new locality'. HAHA!
guess which book that came from?
how do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
wheeee i just watched sound of music AGAIN yesterday! i think i can memorize the whole show i've watched it a zillion times my entire life. BUT i can never get tired of it.. it's truly a timeless classic that every family should share! and i like every single song in the show.. i can memorize all of them too!! almost at least... hee.
anw to my horror, i did a little looking up and i discovered that the lead actor, christopher Plummer, DESPISES the show! he called it the sound of mucus.......?!!?? who knows why he starred in it then. but then again it shot him to hollywood fame. anw i'm so disillusioned! how can i watch the show again knowing that capt von trapp actually hates what he's doing. i wish i didnt know.
and....im finally getting curtains! THIS time, i got to choose:) it's orange n yellow with pretty flowers as the motif! i bet it's going to look very cheerful! especially in the morning sun which my room gets APLENTY. ( it's my alarm clock every single morning)
and....my father jus went down to ikea to help me get some shelves for my books! it's goin to go under my window sill.. FINALLY! no more books all over the place
blessings blessings!
:)
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
calvin and hobbes
did ya catch the sunset today?
it was exceptionally exotic
i didnt know calvin and hobbes was THIS funnie!! wah lao it's SUPER FREAKING FUNNY!!! he's UNBELIEVABLE. why didn't i realize it any sooner and deprive myself of such brilliant amusement. salute to watterson!
mm my dinner was very yummy albeit pathetic... and they say it's good to eat your dinner like a pauper. (cos you'll get indigestn if you eat so much n then go to sleep)
it was exceptionally exotic
i didnt know calvin and hobbes was THIS funnie!! wah lao it's SUPER FREAKING FUNNY!!! he's UNBELIEVABLE. why didn't i realize it any sooner and deprive myself of such brilliant amusement. salute to watterson!
mm my dinner was very yummy albeit pathetic... and they say it's good to eat your dinner like a pauper. (cos you'll get indigestn if you eat so much n then go to sleep)
Thursday, August 18, 2005
stabilo
wah freak this is no good. i am SO stressed i'm goin to explode any moment. no wonder they say this is even worse than exams in uni. wah laooooooooo... thank goodness my fuse isn't shrinking yet. but yea extremely pressured. doenst help that im crawling thru my study plans. i've taken to mak's advice and do a weekly one instead of unrealistic daily ones.. so as ju says, i can at least choing during the weekends. wah if i make it this time, it'll be an immense blessing from above.
and it also doesnt help when i have other worries.. i wish they could jus solve their own problems and such.. at least things are looking up at home. i really have no more energy to go bother about other people's issues but i also cannot help being concerned.
how come this period of preparations differ so vastly from what it was like two years ago? i remember i thoroughly enjoyed those last few months of intense studying. and i think i was in quite a similar state. bleagh how come it's not that enjoyable anymore? wah those days were good.. maybe it's zhaoxin HAHA.
and i had a nice surprise today! my m'sian cousin finally subscribed to msn so now i can chat with her online:) and she even called my mobile! i miss her so much. i didnt go down to m'sia this year for the new year so i haven't seen her in almost two years! and guess what! she's an air stewardess and she said that after my exams i can join her on one of her long flights! wow so exciting can! i'll jus have to cover part of my air ticket and for the rest i can share her accomodation and transport blahblah. =D whoo something to REALLY look forward to. im definately goin down to KL to visit her family so i can join her from there. sounds good? i hope this will come true la.. all my post exams plans always dont come into existence. hehehe ;)
and it also doesnt help when i have other worries.. i wish they could jus solve their own problems and such.. at least things are looking up at home. i really have no more energy to go bother about other people's issues but i also cannot help being concerned.
how come this period of preparations differ so vastly from what it was like two years ago? i remember i thoroughly enjoyed those last few months of intense studying. and i think i was in quite a similar state. bleagh how come it's not that enjoyable anymore? wah those days were good.. maybe it's zhaoxin HAHA.
and i had a nice surprise today! my m'sian cousin finally subscribed to msn so now i can chat with her online:) and she even called my mobile! i miss her so much. i didnt go down to m'sia this year for the new year so i haven't seen her in almost two years! and guess what! she's an air stewardess and she said that after my exams i can join her on one of her long flights! wow so exciting can! i'll jus have to cover part of my air ticket and for the rest i can share her accomodation and transport blahblah. =D whoo something to REALLY look forward to. im definately goin down to KL to visit her family so i can join her from there. sounds good? i hope this will come true la.. all my post exams plans always dont come into existence. hehehe ;)
Friday, August 12, 2005
eye of the storm
everything is going wrong, as tho a hurricane jus swept through my home and this time there's no way i can avoid the destruction..
but admist this mess, i know something is going right, i just know it! i know that all i have to do is to follow wherever the steadfast finger points.. freak, i'm even excited about it! weird as it may be. no actually it isn't cos now i really know what this JOY is all about. YES!!!!!!!! hahahahah :D
dear friends, i jus wanna say that time is really everything. be patient and He'll show you.. in His time He will.. trust Him. YES! byeeeee...........
but admist this mess, i know something is going right, i just know it! i know that all i have to do is to follow wherever the steadfast finger points.. freak, i'm even excited about it! weird as it may be. no actually it isn't cos now i really know what this JOY is all about. YES!!!!!!!! hahahahah :D
dear friends, i jus wanna say that time is really everything. be patient and He'll show you.. in His time He will.. trust Him. YES! byeeeee...........
Thursday, August 04, 2005
oh man.. one by one we're falling ill.. first it was sher...then jang.. then guess who?.... my throat's incredulously, unbelievably itchy and painful!!!!!!!!! i cant stop coughing!!!!!
hm but then again, this is a good opportunity to start detoxicing my body or however u call that haha. i usually dont drink enough water so this is really forcing gallons of water down my throat and clearing my body of whatever dirt that should be gettin out :) so owelll....! i jus hope the sore throat wont worsen else i cannot enjoy my foooooddd!!!
hee anw i jus went to explore the webbie of yummy fish snack.. you know the colourful fishies.. pfgoldfish.com or something.. hmm mayb you can go there and play the game and tell me if you ever find Finn cos i cant!!!!! i suspect it's impossible.. it's meant for little kids n yet me, 17 year old cant find the ans?!?! perhaps wisdom comes with youth...
a friend from church fwd me his photos from his trip to cambodia doin missionary work i think.. kinda surprised and i dont know if it was sent by mistake but i'm glad he did! there were so many pictures and it literally took me all the way there and amongst them :) i liked the ones on pol pot's genocide. i've read about him before quite a few times in national geographic or was it readers' digest but i've never seen all those stuffs that i saw in the photos, like their torture equipments and techniques... all the skeleton heads on the shelves and their clothes.. the trauma suddenly seemed so real through the pictures. i'd like to go there and take a look for myself.
hm but then again, this is a good opportunity to start detoxicing my body or however u call that haha. i usually dont drink enough water so this is really forcing gallons of water down my throat and clearing my body of whatever dirt that should be gettin out :) so owelll....! i jus hope the sore throat wont worsen else i cannot enjoy my foooooddd!!!
hee anw i jus went to explore the webbie of yummy fish snack.. you know the colourful fishies.. pfgoldfish.com or something.. hmm mayb you can go there and play the game and tell me if you ever find Finn cos i cant!!!!! i suspect it's impossible.. it's meant for little kids n yet me, 17 year old cant find the ans?!?! perhaps wisdom comes with youth...
a friend from church fwd me his photos from his trip to cambodia doin missionary work i think.. kinda surprised and i dont know if it was sent by mistake but i'm glad he did! there were so many pictures and it literally took me all the way there and amongst them :) i liked the ones on pol pot's genocide. i've read about him before quite a few times in national geographic or was it readers' digest but i've never seen all those stuffs that i saw in the photos, like their torture equipments and techniques... all the skeleton heads on the shelves and their clothes.. the trauma suddenly seemed so real through the pictures. i'd like to go there and take a look for myself.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
story of Barabbas
this is from a book that *miche lent me:-
'Let me tell you a story. Have you ever heard of Barabbas?'
'You mean the murderer whow as a fellow prisoner of Jesus?'
'Yes that's the one. it was the Jewish custom to release a prisoner at the time of the Passover. Pilate(the king) asked the Jews whom he should release - Jesus or Barabbas.'
'I remember, and they chose Barabbas.'
'Right! Now just imagine - Barabbas was free an was walking through the streets of Jerusalem on that Good Friday. He saw the crowds of people streaming out ot Golgotha and follwed them. When he arrived there, whom did he see?'
'Jesus on the cross.'
'You learned your lesson well at that village school.'
'I heard the story often, but it never meant anything to me.'
'Now listen, Barabbas recognized his fellow prisoner. Suddenly it dawned on him: If Jesus were not hanging there... Can you finish the sentence, Fatma?'
'Then I would be in His place'
'Yes, Fatma you would. and I would. Both of us would.'
We were both silent and watched the water swirling.
'Continue the story.'
'Imagine what Barabbas might have thought. "It's unjust that He dies. after all, i am the murderer, not He. I have deserved death, not He. all i can do now is to kill myself."'
'He would have been foolish.'
'Exactly, just as foolish as you would be if you jumped down there. [fatma had wanted to commit suicide because she felt she couldn't bear the burdens of all her mistakes] The death you have deserved Jesus has already died. Since His death, every suicicde is too late. It's unnecessary. You are free. Free like Barabbas.'
i've read the story of Barabbas before and i've watched the Gospel of John before n saw how He'd died in Barabbas' place.. but it's never hit me this hard- that even if I tried, i can't die cos He has already died for me. His sacrifice has never been put across any more clearly to me than by this perspective that the author offered.
although this book is about marriage and i am about a decade away from it, God offered many insights that mean something to me at this point of time in my life. Above all, i saw how He would guide us when we allow Him to, to trust Him totally because when He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. it gave me a little more confidence in my trusting of His timings and purposes. i've been trying very hard to let Him lead me, seek advice and answers from Him but i dont seem to be getting anywhere and im very unsure of what i should do, or rather if what i am doing is what He wants me to be doing.. i dont trust myself enough to trust Him.
hee anw today's sushi buffet was siao! we didnt have the stamina to finish all three hours worth of food. hahahh and it was super comical the way we were competing between tables and planning the best eating strategy to make full use of the 2.5 hrs we had! i'm so glad i got to try lotsa other kinds of sushi that i've never had before:)
'Let me tell you a story. Have you ever heard of Barabbas?'
'You mean the murderer whow as a fellow prisoner of Jesus?'
'Yes that's the one. it was the Jewish custom to release a prisoner at the time of the Passover. Pilate(the king) asked the Jews whom he should release - Jesus or Barabbas.'
'I remember, and they chose Barabbas.'
'Right! Now just imagine - Barabbas was free an was walking through the streets of Jerusalem on that Good Friday. He saw the crowds of people streaming out ot Golgotha and follwed them. When he arrived there, whom did he see?'
'Jesus on the cross.'
'You learned your lesson well at that village school.'
'I heard the story often, but it never meant anything to me.'
'Now listen, Barabbas recognized his fellow prisoner. Suddenly it dawned on him: If Jesus were not hanging there... Can you finish the sentence, Fatma?'
'Then I would be in His place'
'Yes, Fatma you would. and I would. Both of us would.'
We were both silent and watched the water swirling.
'Continue the story.'
'Imagine what Barabbas might have thought. "It's unjust that He dies. after all, i am the murderer, not He. I have deserved death, not He. all i can do now is to kill myself."'
'He would have been foolish.'
'Exactly, just as foolish as you would be if you jumped down there. [fatma had wanted to commit suicide because she felt she couldn't bear the burdens of all her mistakes] The death you have deserved Jesus has already died. Since His death, every suicicde is too late. It's unnecessary. You are free. Free like Barabbas.'
i've read the story of Barabbas before and i've watched the Gospel of John before n saw how He'd died in Barabbas' place.. but it's never hit me this hard- that even if I tried, i can't die cos He has already died for me. His sacrifice has never been put across any more clearly to me than by this perspective that the author offered.
although this book is about marriage and i am about a decade away from it, God offered many insights that mean something to me at this point of time in my life. Above all, i saw how He would guide us when we allow Him to, to trust Him totally because when He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. it gave me a little more confidence in my trusting of His timings and purposes. i've been trying very hard to let Him lead me, seek advice and answers from Him but i dont seem to be getting anywhere and im very unsure of what i should do, or rather if what i am doing is what He wants me to be doing.. i dont trust myself enough to trust Him.
hee anw today's sushi buffet was siao! we didnt have the stamina to finish all three hours worth of food. hahahh and it was super comical the way we were competing between tables and planning the best eating strategy to make full use of the 2.5 hrs we had! i'm so glad i got to try lotsa other kinds of sushi that i've never had before:)
Monday, July 25, 2005
making a come back....
i jus clicked on ilovemylittletoes.blogspot.com and lo and behold.. was i immensely delighted with the array of bright colours before me! mann... i miss the energy the red orange and yellow gives:) (ahem think jia mwahah). whoo.. feels goood...
okay so i jus wanted to say that a little portion of the boulders i was carrying on my shoulders has been heaved off... big thanks to Him for answering my grace during lunch today =) i am relieved and i was SO surprised!! well u see, i lost my wallet last monday.. rather, i gathered that it must have been stolen given the circumstances of how it went missing. =( travelling arnd w/o my ezlink is HELL. seriously. argh. so i wanted to replace it quickly BUT, unfortunately, to my dismay, i realized my ID/birthcert/passport is in my prev home living quietly in my parents' safe.. and i didn't know how to ask my dad for it.. cos i was EXTREMELY sure i was gonna get a super dressing down for my carelessness.. so i was kinda stressed bout approaching him n thinkin of a way out to get my ID without lying as far as possible... but still yea... hmm
SO this evening, he miraculously returned home with.. MY ID!!!!! i was so happy!! thank GOd really =) what a relieve! i am goin to make a new card tmr =)
anw.. to add on to my financial crisis.. i currently owe the class fund...SIXTY BUCKS!!!! argh...
but on the sunny side, that's just ten dollars a week for one and a half months! ...out of the 50 bucks i get a week, it's pretty ok i guess.. just cut down my savings and consumption. =)
ya know, i'm really not used to receiving GREAT stuff... really really good things seldom come my way(not that im insufficiently blessed).. so when they do happen, it's so unbelievable and difficult to accept.. it's as tho i dont deserve this feast that has been placed before me..ya know, too good to be true.. hmm.. i really dont know what to do. wake up my idea?
not that i deserve it
but i still receive it
okay so i jus wanted to say that a little portion of the boulders i was carrying on my shoulders has been heaved off... big thanks to Him for answering my grace during lunch today =) i am relieved and i was SO surprised!! well u see, i lost my wallet last monday.. rather, i gathered that it must have been stolen given the circumstances of how it went missing. =( travelling arnd w/o my ezlink is HELL. seriously. argh. so i wanted to replace it quickly BUT, unfortunately, to my dismay, i realized my ID/birthcert/passport is in my prev home living quietly in my parents' safe.. and i didn't know how to ask my dad for it.. cos i was EXTREMELY sure i was gonna get a super dressing down for my carelessness.. so i was kinda stressed bout approaching him n thinkin of a way out to get my ID without lying as far as possible... but still yea... hmm
SO this evening, he miraculously returned home with.. MY ID!!!!! i was so happy!! thank GOd really =) what a relieve! i am goin to make a new card tmr =)
anw.. to add on to my financial crisis.. i currently owe the class fund...SIXTY BUCKS!!!! argh...
but on the sunny side, that's just ten dollars a week for one and a half months! ...out of the 50 bucks i get a week, it's pretty ok i guess.. just cut down my savings and consumption. =)
ya know, i'm really not used to receiving GREAT stuff... really really good things seldom come my way(not that im insufficiently blessed).. so when they do happen, it's so unbelievable and difficult to accept.. it's as tho i dont deserve this feast that has been placed before me..ya know, too good to be true.. hmm.. i really dont know what to do. wake up my idea?
not that i deserve it
but i still receive it
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